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She caught a quick glimpse of Kris going up and over a meat-mind, her black hightops digging into knees, thighs, hips, chest, and shoulders like they were part of her own personal jungle gym. As the mall elf leaped clear, the pursuing bug knocked the meat-mind ass over tip and got itself tangled in the sudden barricade of flailing arms and legs. Diana wasted a moment imagining what Kris could do with a shopping cart, then, at the last possible instant, dropped flat and slid under a descending carapace.

And let’s hear it for polished marble floors! she noted as her slide put her considerably closer to the wand. She could see it, lying all pink and plastic on the steps of the throne, but she couldn’t…quite…reach…

The bug’s leg caught her a glancing blow, skidding her a couple of meters in the wrong direction.

“This willbe on the final exam.”

What will?

She’d written her final biology exam only ten days ago.You’d think I’d remember more of it. Which was either a scathing indictment of the public school system, or she should start worrying about her short-term memory.

Curved, swordlike mandibles cut through the back of her sweater and hoisted her onto her feet.

Mandibles. Maxillae. Labium or lower lip.

Her final exam’d had an entire section on bugs. Class Insecta. A useless spewing of information she assumed she’d never need again—her present situation having been unanticipated at the time. Evidently, a little shortsighted of her.

Insects. Nearly a million known species.

Every kind of land environment supports a flourishing insect population.

“So, Ms. McBride, if bugs are so great, how come they aren’t taking over the world like in them old movies?”

Diana smiled and mentally thanked Daryl Mills. The bug holding her shuddered as its exoskeleton cracked in a dozen places with a sound like cheap wineglasses hitting a concrete floor. She jumped clear as it collapsed under its own weight. Most of a sperm whale’s weight was supported by water. Elephants had evolved massive bones and muscles to deal with their bulk. Size/mass ratio.

Giant bugs were impossible.

So there.

The sound of breaking glass filled the throne room and pieces of chitin buzzed around like shrapnel. The Shadowlord shrieked like a hockey mom after a bad call.

Three steps and she’d be at the dais. Up two stairs and she’d have the wand. One moment after that, it would all be over but the fat lady singing. Whatever that meant.

Three steps and…

Something caught her between the shoulder blades and she went down, hard.

Epicuticle, she thought muzzily as it bounced and landed about two centimeters from her nose.This isn’t…

A booted foot pressed hard against the back of her neck.

…good.

She swung out as a hand in her hair dragged her up onto her knees but only succeeded in overbalancing and nearly scalping herself. Blinking away memories of grade school ponytails so tight she looked like Mr. Spock’s kid sister, Diana screamed “RUN!” over the Shadowlord’s ultimatum that Kris surrender.

“What did you listen to him for?” she demanded a moment later as two meat-minds dropped Kris beside her.

The mall elf got shakily to her knees.“Like I was going to leave you here alone?”

How romantic.Well, since you asked, not very.“You could have gone for help!”

“As if. It’s wall to friggin’ wall of meat-minds out there. Couldn’t get past them.”

Okay. Even less romantic.

“So I remembered something I was told, way back,” Kris continued. “If you’re going to lose anyway, surrenderbefore they kick your ass—not after.”

“Arthur?”

“My mom.”

“Smart lady.”

“That time.”

“Are you two finished catching up?” the Shadowlord snarled.

“So, ’rents still together?” Diana asked, shuffling around so that she was facing the other girl.

The mall elf stared at her for a moment, then disbelief disappeared behind a gleeful smile as she caught on. When it seems like there’s no options left, there’salways the option of being a pain in the ass.“Nah, my dad split about six years ago. I’m guessin’ you’ve got the whole happy suburban family thing going down?”

“Oh, yeah. We’re a walking, talking WASP clich? except for that whole Keeper, Cousin, cat thing.”

“Silence!” At some point the Shadowlord had retrieved his club, and he was stroking it as he loomed over them.

“You know if you think that looks threatening…” Diana nodded toward the club. “…you’re so wrong. It’s screaming, ‘hey, girls, look at my big substitute…’”

She’d been a little worried she might provoke him into actually using the club, but, fortunately, he went with the personal touch. The backhand lifted her off her knees and threw her back over the steps of the dais. Moving around to face Kris had placed her at exactly the right angle—no brainer tofigure he’d lash out—and she grabbed the wand as she sprawled over it, stuffing it down into the front of her pants.