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“Probably.” If she only had the wand. It was times like this, chained to a wall by the nameless evil who planned to use a shopping mall to take over the world, that a few hours of unconsciousness followed by a little puking started to look good. “First they’ll leave us here to think about it for a while.”

“You know what? I’m thinking about it. And you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking I don’t want to be tortured!”

“Who does?”

Kris found the strength for another yank at the chains.“So do something!”

“Like what?” Diana demanded, sagging back against the rough rock. “If I reach into the possibilities to free us, I break one of the big Rules. If I break a big Rule, that opens the way for them to break a big Rule and you really don’t want that to happen.”

“Hey! Read my lips, I really don’t want to be tortured either!”

“Soyou do something!”

“You’re the freakin’ wizard!” Kris slapped her chains against the wall for emphasis.

“It’s Keeper! Now stop yelling at me and letme think! Just because you couldn’t come up with something useful doesn’t mean I can’t!”

Their breathing sounded unnaturally loud in the silence that followed.

Finally, Diana sighed.“Sorry. It’s just…”

“Yeah. I know.”

She turned to see Kris frightened and battered but almost smiling at her.

“You’re supposed to be saving the world, not just hangin’ around here with me.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. Not, here…here.” Diana winced as Kris’ eyebrows rose. “I mean, I’m glad I’m not alone.”

“For what it’s worth, I’d rather you were.”

Diana sighed again as Kris returned to yanking the chain. This was not going well on a number of levels; personal, professional, and probably a few other“p” words she’d come up with later. If they had a later.

They’d been chained in an alcove hacked out of the limestone walls not far from the throne room. Chained and abandoned; they hadn’t seen meat-minds or bugs since.

“How long do you think we’ve been here?”

Diana twisted her wrist until she could see her watch.“About six minutes.”

“Seems longer.”

“Yeah.”

The torches across from their alcove flickered although the air was still. In the distance, something screamed.

“So, about those Rules.”

When Diana turned, Kris’ expression announcedI’m not fuckin’ scared as loudly as if she was shouting the words. The profanity was particularly obvious.“You want me to tell you about themnow?”

Her upper lip curled.“You going somewhere?”

“Well, no.” Maybe defining a few metaphysical parameters was just the kind of distraction they needed. Maybe not, but it was all she had. Kris didn’t seem like the type to be interested in “the cute things my cat’s done lately” or what Ms. Harris and the graduating president of the chess club had been doing with two tubes of acrylic paint and a number three sable in the art supply closet on the last day of school. Which had only been…? Diana counted back. She’d traveled to Kingston on Friday; the same day school’d ended. They’d crossed over into the Otherside mall on Saturday. Was it still Saturday and, if so, which Saturday? That whole “time was relative” thing made her want to hurl—although in this instance the urge to hurl likely had more to do with the bug leg—arm? limb?—that had impacted with her stomach. Bruises were rising even…

“Hey!” Part summons, part protest, it yanked her wandering attention back to the alcove.

“Right. The Rules. The uh, the Rules impose order on the chaos of metaphysics. Magic,” she amended catching sight of bravado becoming impatience. “Right here and now, the biggest Rule to remember is that the Otherside is neutral ground, so neither good nor evil can control it.”

“Why would evil give a shit?”

“‘Because when you break the Rules, you sow the seeds of your own destruction. That’s also in the Rules.”

Kris snorted.“I think I read it in a fortune cookie.”

“Could have.” The lineage liked to spread the platitudes around.

“Although I’m sure it would be all awe inspiring or something if we weren’t chained to a fuckin’ wall.”

Diana thought about it for a moment, squinting up at the flakes of rust raining off the eyebolt as she yanked her chain against it.“Probably not,” she admitted.

“So what about that whole ‘bad guys gotta gloat’ thing?”

“Just basic psychology according to my mother. What’s the point of being an evil genius if there’s no one to tell?”

“No point, I guess.”

They hung in silence for a few minutes, then Kris muttered,“That dude on the throne, he didn’t seem like the genius type.”

“He didn’t seem like much of anything,” Diana agreed. As far as a meeting of good and evil was concerned, it was kind of a nonevent. “The bugs were cool, in anoh, gross, get it off me, get it off me kind of way, but he was bland. Boring. Disappointing, even.”

“Except that, you know, he won.”

“Yeah. Except for that.”

Off to the left of their alcove, claws skittered against stone, evoking an interlude of panicked struggles to be free. After a while, when the claws came no closer, both girls relaxed.