A Timely Vision

“There was sand in her lungs. That means she was still breathing when you buried her.”

“No! No! That can’t be true! I checked her. She was dead. I had to bury her to protect the turtles. Then when everyone was looking for someone to blame, I went to Millie and asked her for money for the turtle sanctuary. I was thinking if I could get everything set up, I’d confess. But she told me I had to wait until she died to get the land she promised me. That’s when I thought of blaming her for what happened. Only for a while. Only until the turtles were protected. Then I would’ve told the truth. It was only an accident. I never meant to hurt Lizzie.”

I thought I was shocked and horrified before Agent Walker explained about Miss Elizabeth’s death. Knowing that she had been buried alive on the beach made everything so much worse. I started crying and covered my face with my hands. Kevin put his arms around me, and I cried into his shirt. How could something like this happen in Duck?

“You’ll have to come with me.” Agent Walker took Mary Lou’s arm to lead her away.

I lifted my head to see her go, and she stared at me. “I’m so sorry, Lizzie,” she sobbed. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

I couldn’t speak. What could I say anyway? I didn’t know how Miss Elizabeth would’ve responded to that apology. But it was impossible to be forgiven by the dead. Mary Lou was going to have to live with what she’d done for the rest of her life. It struck me that the rest of us would have to live with it too.

Kevin took me home without any conversation. I went upstairs while he explained what had happened to Gramps.

I drew a hot bath and sat in it until I was completely pruny and the water was cold. I didn’t really think about anything. I couldn’t. My brain felt wiped clean of any information.

As I got out of the tub, I realized that even with all that water, I still hadn’t scrubbed the makeup off my face. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that half of it must’ve come off on Kevin’s shirt. I scrubbed off the rest until my face was clean and pink.

I stared at myself for a long time, questioning again if what I’d done was the right thing. Sometimes, there was a terrible price to pay for helping people. I knew if I had to do the same thing again, I would. But I knew this incident was one I would never forget. The look in Mary Lou’s drowned eyes when she asked me for forgiveness would haunt me the rest of my life.

When I was in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, there was a knock on the door. “Dae?” Gramps said. “Are you still awake?”

“Sure. Come in and we can talk.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, not bothering to turn on a light. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. And I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me what was going on. I thought we could tell each other anything.”

I thought of all my youthful indiscretions that lay like old shoes in the closet of my mind. I hadn’t shared any of those. But I knew Gramps and I had a good relationship and there had been enough sharing between us to keep it strong. “I knew you had a thing with Mary Lou. I didn’t want you to have to be there when we tricked her. I didn’t want to be there either, and she wasn’t even my girlfriend.”

He hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head. “You can tell me anything. No girlfriend can ever change that. I hope no boyfriend of yours ever does either. I’m sorry this happened to Mary Lou. I don’t know what possessed her to go through all those lengths to cover it up. She’s a good woman, Dae.”

I knew he was telling the truth about Mary Lou. “I think she got carried away trying to save the turtles. She thought no one else could do it but her.”

“You know, she’s right. Once she’s gone, the group will fall apart, and the turtles will have to fend for themselves. There won’t be anyone as dedicated as she has been. But we all have to live with mortality and our mistakes. I waited an extra five years to retire because I thought my deputies needed me. I had to be hospitalized with that heart attack before I realized they could get along without me. The turtles will have to get along without Mary Lou. I’m sure they’ll survive.”

I swallowed hard. “Did you know Miss Elizabeth wasn’t dead when Mary Lou buried her?”

He nodded. “I’d hoped to spare you that information. The chief kept it secret because he wasn’t sure Miss Mildred was the right suspect. He’d hoped to use it to catch the real perpetrator. This can be an ugly business, Dae. I always tried to keep those awful details from you when you were growing up. I guess I still like to think I can protect you.”

I hugged him and kissed his forehead. “You can spare me those details anytime. I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again thinking about her being out there still alive and no one knowing. It’s terrible to be so alone.”