A Quiet Flame

I tried to make myself more comfortable. It wasn’t easy, but I hadn’t expected it would be. The cord around my wrists was as tight as the skin on a fat snake. My hands felt like balloons. I managed to straighten my legs, which weren’t tied, and kicked someone else. Maybe I would kick a shark in the eye before I drowned. Always supposing I hit the Río and lived. I wondered how high the pilot was planning to go before they started bailing us out.

Minutes passed. I was down to the filter. I spat the cigarette out of my mouth and it burned my shoulder before ending up on the deck. I hoped it might hit a pool of gasoline and cause a small fire. That would teach them. Then what sounded like a handful of gravel hit the fuselage. It was raining. I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. To make peace with myself. Negotiations opened slowly. I told Gunther he should think of himself as one of the lucky ones. How many others had ever managed to escape from the Russians? I was still telling myself how lucky I was, when someone interrupted my winning streak and opened the door. Cold air and rain blasted through the guts of the plane with a sound like the roaring of some terrible cloud-monster. A minotaur of the skies that needed to be served with regular human sacrifice.

It was impossible to guess how many human sacrifices were planned. I thought there were at least six or seven of us on that plane. With the door open now, the engines seemed to throttle back a little. There was movement all around me but, so far, no one had tried to move me toward the door. There was some sort of commotion and then a naked woman fell on me. I could tell she was naked because her breast squashed against my face and she was screaming. As they hauled her off me, I decided I had to say something or I’d be telling it to the seagulls.

“Colonel Montalbán? If you’re there, speak to me, you bastard.”

The woman who was screaming started begging them not to kill her. It wasn’t Anna. The voice was older, more mature, huskier, not well educated. It was hard to say more about her voice because, suddenly, it was not there, and I sensed she wasn’t there, either.

Behind me, a man was praying the same prayer over and over again, as if the repetition might make it count for more in the long line of prayers that were already winging their way ahead of us to the divine waiting room. From the speed of his prayers and his breathing and the way his position changed, I guessed he was next in line to the door. And even as I was thinking this, he was gone, too, his final scream, as he was bundled out of the plane, lost forever in the slipstream of eternity.

I tried to shake the blindfold off my eyes but it was useless. I might as well have had no eyes at all. Only I wished that they had stopped up my ears as well, as they deported the other men and women, one by one, through the open door of the plane. It was like having a front-row seat in the dress circle of hell.

I bellowed like a man roasting on a spit, cursing their mothers and their fathers and their bastard children. I told the colonel what I thought of him and his country and his president and his cancerous wife, and how I was going to have the last laugh because only I knew what he and she had dearly wanted to know, and that I wasn’t going to tell him anything now, not even if they did throw me out of the plane. I told them that I was spitting in all their faces in the knowledge that at least I was going to die knowing that I’d thwarted their stupid schemes. Someone slapped me. I ignored it and kept on talking.

“A month from now. A week. Maybe even tomorrow. You and that dumb blond whore are going to ask yourself if Gunther really knew what he said he knew. If he really could have told you what you wanted to find out most in the world. Where you can find her. Where she’s been hiding all this time. Don’t you want to find out, Colonel?”

I heard a woman scream several times before the open door silenced her permanently. Some sadistic part of my brain tried to persuade me that there had been something about her scream that had seemed familiar. Her perfume, too. But I wasn’t buying it. I hadn’t any more reason for thinking Anna was on the plane than for believing the colonel was. If she had done as I had told her and gone to stay with a friend, there was every reason to suppose she was all right.

Someone snatched off my blindfold. I was just in time to see two of my mustachioed friends carrying a man to the open door behind the wing. Mercifully, the man was unconscious. He was wearing just underpants. His hands and his feet were tied and he looked like he’d been badly beaten. Either that or his face had been stung by a whole jungleful of bees. The less said about his toes the better. The two who threw him out of the plane probably thought they were doing him a favor. One of them pulled a filthy handkerchief out of his trouser pocket and wiped his brow. It was hard work. Then they looked at me.