A Perfect Spy

He was heading out of town. He had bought a plastic cape from Blandy the haberdasher. “Good evening, Mr. Canterbury, sir, what can we be doing you for?” In the rain its hood pattered round him like a tin roof. Inside its skirts he carried his shopping for Miss Dubber: the bacon from Mr. Aitken, only mind and tell him he’s to cut it on number five, give him half a chance he’ll make it thicker. And tell that Mr. Crosse three of his tomatoes were rotten last week, not just bad, rotten. If I don’t have replacements I’ll never go to him again. Pym had followed her instructions to the letter, though not with the ferocity she would have wished, for both Crosse and Aitken were recipients of his secret subventions, and for years had been sending Miss Dubber bills for only half what she had spent. From Farways the travel agent he had also obtained details of a senior citizens’ tour of Italy departing Gatwick in six days. I’ll phone her cousin Melanie in Bognor, he thought. If I offer to pay for Melanie as well, Miss Dubber won’t be able to refuse.

A hundred and six minutes. Only four gone. From countless pressing memories in his head clamouring to be acknowledged, Pym selected instead Washington and the balloon. Of all the crazy ways we ever had of talking, really that balloon took the biscuit. You wanted a chat, I wouldn’t meet you. I was running scared and had appointed you my unperson. But you wouldn’t be put down, you never would. To humour me, you launched a miniature silver-coated gas balloon over the rooftops of Washington, D.C. Half a metre diameter; sometimes Tom gets them free at the supermarkets. As we drove our separate cars on either side of town, you told me in German what a fool I was to do a Garbo on you. Over matched handsets that hopped like bedbugs between the frequencies and must have sent the listeners just as frantic.

He was climbing the cliff path, past lighted bungalows cut from the gardens of a great house. I’ll phone that doctor of hers and get him to persuade her that a break is what she needs. Or the vicar, she’d listen to him. Below him the fairy lights of the Amusement Palace glowed like fat berries in the mist. Alongside them he could make out the blue-white neons of the Softa Ice Parlour. Penny, he thought. You’ll never see me again unless it’s my face in the newspaper. Penny belonged to his secret army of lovers, so secret she didn’t know she was a member. Five years ago she was selling fish and chips from a Portacabin on the promenade and was in love with a leather-boy called Bill who beat her up, until Pym ran the licence number of Bill’s motorbike across the Firm computer and established he was married and had kids in Taunton. In a disguised hand he sent the details to the local vicar and a year later Penny was married to a jolly Italian ice-cream seller called Eugenio. But not tonight she wasn’t. Tonight, as Pym had approached her café for his regular two scoops of Cornish, she was head to head with a burly man in a trilby whom Pym hadn’t liked the look of one bit. It was just an ordinary traveller, he told himself as a gust of wind filled his cape. A food salesman, a taxman. Who hunts alone these days apart from Jack? And Jack it isn’t, not by thirty years. It was the car, he thought. Those clean wings, the smart aerial. The pitch of his head as he listened.

“Any callers, Miss D?” said Pym, setting out his packages on the sideboard.

Miss Dubber was sitting in the kitchen watching American soap-opera and having her one of the day. Toby sat in her lap.

“They’re so wicked, Mr. Canterbury,” she said. “There’s not one among them we’d have here even for a night, would we, Toby? What’s that tea you bought? I said Assam, you silly man, take it back.”

“It is Assam,” Pym said gently, stooping to show her. “They’ve put it in a new packing and given you three pence off. Any callers while I was out?”

“Only the gasman for the meter.”

“That usual? Or someone new?”

“New, dear. They’re all new these days.” Lightly kissing her cheek he straightened her new shawl over her shoulders. “Give yourself a nice stiff vodka, darling,” she said.

But Pym declined, saying he must work.