A Girl's Guide to Vampires

She honked and waved at the semi truck driver as we swerved around it, zooming down the long, curving highway so characteristic of the wild, untamed back roads of Oregon. I read her the riot act on trying to kill us through careless driving, which she responded to with injured silence. I took advantage of the quiet to think over the events of the evening. Evidently, Roxy was doing the same.

"Joy?"

"What?"

She said nothing for a minute. "You know, you don't have to go to Czechoslovakia with me."

"It's the Czech Republic now."

"Oh." An owl flirted with the car's high beams, a flash of ghostly white wing catching my peripheral vision before it melted into the darkness. "Whatever they're calling it now, I appreciate the offer to come with me, but given what Miranda said…"

I swallowed hard and gnawed on my lip, trying to remind myself that I didn't believe in any of the things Miranda said she could do, or see, or manifest. Most were coincidences that would have happened regardless of whether or not she was seeking the advice of some greater being. I was a sensible person. I didn't believe in Bigfoot, or ghosts, or vampires, or even the powers held by white witches.

"… Well, I just want you to know that I won't hold you to your offer. Of keeping me out of trouble after the Book Fair, that is. You can spend your two-week holiday tooling around Europe and seeing Paris like you had originally planned. I'm sure I won't have any trouble getting to the Czech Republic by myself." She offered me a weak grin. I bared my teeth in what I hoped was a semblance of a smile, and returned to staring out the window at the passing night and trying to rub the goose bumps from my arms.

Roxy's session with Miranda had gone just fine, no surprise to me since everyone liked Roxy. She was petite, had curly black hair and blue eyes that made her look like an elf or pixie or one of those cute little munchkin people. Men generally feel all masculine and protective of her, and erroneously assume she's shy and delicate despite the fact that she has the constitution and willpower of an ox. She was to have it all, the Goddess told her through Miranda. She was to meet her perfect man before the moon rose and set again; she would give her heart and receive one in return; she would fulfill the destiny laid before her feet. I could practically hear the Disney chorus of woodland creatures breaking into song, what with all the sweetness and light that rilled Miranda's living room… until she'd scried my future.

The wind seemed to forespell my doom as it gusted into the room, blowing out half the candles in the circle, and sending the spray of rose petals around us dancing into the far corners of the room. Roxy leaped up to close the French doors as Miranda quickly relit the candles. Once settled, she waved at me to begin reciting my part of the Invocation. I felt a bit like an idiot, but knew there was no way Roxy would let me out of there without giving the Goddess a shot at me.

"Power of earth to move his feet Across the mountains, here to me. Water's power to plumb the depths Of the storm-toss'd briny sea. True love's image, I invoke Powers of air, and red-hot fire; One to burn him with my glance, One to stoke my heart's desire. Seven knots I double-tie Moon and candles light the way, Seven knots for me and love. Entangled heart in heart to stay."

"So, what do you see?" I asked impatiently a few minutes later as Miranda stared sightlessly into a bowl of water. "Do you see Mr. Right? Is he cute? Does he look like he's really loaded in the groinal region?"

"Joy!"

I made a face at Roxy and turned back to Miranda. Her eyes had lost their focus as they did when she scried Roxy's future, but there was something different about her bearing now, something tense and unyielding that was in direct contrast to the relaxed posture she had with Roxy. Davide rose to his feet and started to stalk toward me, the hair on his back rising as he approached me.

"Jeezumcrow, that's a little creepy," I muttered, getting a serious case of the willies as the cat stopped about six feet in front of me, his yellow eyes never wavering from me. Miranda started to speak, so low both of us leaned forward in order to hear her better. Her low monotone, so different from her normally warm voice, added to the eerie atmosphere, and it took a few minutes before I could understand her words. Outside, the wind suddenly picked up, slamming into the house, tiny ticks and thumps indicating that debris and pinecones were being kicked around in the wind.