A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 5 : Among the Stars, like Giants. Part 4 : Hopes, Aspirations and Dreams

Lennier paused, still looking outside. The sky was bright with promise and power and it hurt his eyes. "That," he said carefully, "I shall deal with as and when I can."

Ta'Lon stirred and nodded, his eyepatch seeming to cast a shadow that fell over half his face. "So be it." He held out a hand. "It was an honour to know you and fight beside you, Lennier of Minbar. May G'Quan see us all back home."

"I have no home," Lennier replied. But he took the one-eyed Narn's hand.

Then he set out into the light.

He had a task to perform.

* * *

To Susan Ivanova's admittedly mortal and tired eyes, he looked.... weary. Almost exhausted.

"Well?" she asked, her voice rising in a crescendo of fury.

"Well what?"

"Well.... are you going to tell me what in God's name happened?"

"God?" he said, looking at her. "Do you still believe in your Creator? After all you have seen and witnessed and done, do you still believe, or do you simply wield his name as a talisman, a little shield of faith against the hostility of the universe?"

"I...." This was making little sense. She had found him comatose in meditation, and the Well of Souls itself shaken and injured. She had had to command Cathedral herself and become directly involved, stopping the battle on her own initiative.

Then she had looked at the two fleets with herself between them and realised that she had absolutely no idea of what to do or say.

Sinoval himself had appeared at that point, and the dim lights had grown somehow stronger and weaker at the same time. And he had spoken, delivering his ultimatum. Cathedral had left, the Brotherhood and the Tuchanq going with them. But now, as she looked at him, she saw the fatigue in his face. He did not need sleep, or food. He was sustained by a power she could barely comprehend, and yet he looked.... almost ill.

"What does that matter?" she asked.

"Everything matters," he replied. "Look at what you have seen. Think of the Vorlons, or the Shadows. Some would say I am a God. Think about the Well of Souls. You have even met the First One, the Eldest and First being. You know that the Vorlons shaped the religions and beliefs of your world, as they did many others.

"Do you still believe in your God, your Jehovah?"

"You're right. I've seen a great many things. The Vorlons may have created religion and faith, and all the stuff about the angels. But...."

"But what?"

"That doesn't mean any of it isn't real."

He looked at her, in that considering, half-confused half-insightful way he had. Then he laughed. "Come on. We have things to do."

"You don't look well. In fact, you really don't look well."

"It will pass. The Vorlons.... they trapped me somewhere. I managed to escape, but not without effort. I think it was more of a warning than anything else. It is something I will have to think about, and yes, I will need to rest, but for now, I must see the leaders of the Brotherhood. I will have to find out if they are worthy to be my army."

"What? They're monsters. Killers and raiders and.... and...."

"There are some who say the same of me. I do not need saints. Sometimes the very best warrior is the one who knows and comprehends the monster within."

"You scare me sometimes."

"Yes, I know." He turned and started to walk away. Then, abruptly, he stopped.

"Susan."

"Yes?"

"You did well. I am proud."

She snorted. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Delenn.... are you.... busy?"

Delenn looked up from her desk, rubbing at her eyes. She was starting to see spots floating in front of her. The reports were not pleasant reading, and the job was made even worse by the absurdly small print.

She made a mental note to talk to Kulomani as soon as possible. His decisions relating to the attack on Centauri Prime were causing.... disquiet in certain quarters. She saw nothing to complain about, but there were some who did.

Besides, she had a faint inkling that there was someone else's shadow behind Kulomani. Just an instinct, and she did not like acting on instinct, but it had to be heeded,

Circles within circles, shadows overlapping, lights rising and falling. Everything was supposed to have been easier when the war ended.

That was when she had the unexpected visitor.

"John." He was standing in the doorway, half in and half out.

"Are you busy?" He sounded nervous.

"No.... well, yes, but you can come in. Of course you can." For a moment she had felt her heart pounding. His collapse was still very recent, and he had discharged himself from the Medlab sooner than she was comfortable with.

"You were gone when I awoke this morning." She tried not to make it sound accusing, but it still seemed to come out like a complaint.

"Yes. I.... went for a walk. I had a lot of thinking to do. Um.... I've been working too hard recently. I think I'll take some time off. Go away for a while or something."

Delenn smiled, relieved. She had been so afraid for a minute, but if that was all.... He had been working too hard. A break away from the station would do them both good.