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“Do you honestly think your performance was good?” asked Marge. “You sang completely out of tune, you looked like a hoary harlot, and those men! They should be ashamed of themselves, the way they behaved—salivating over you like… like… johns!”

“That’s the difference between a star and a nobody like you, Marge,” Gran snapped. “A star is out there, shining brightly, while ordinary people like you only excel at petty jealousy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to mingle and stoke up some more buzz.”

“Mingle!” Marge cried as Gran walked away. “You should apologize to the Mayor!”

“Oh, just leave her be,” said Alec. “I think it’s nice she has a hobby. Keeps her out of trouble.”

“God,” said Marge, and plunked her head against the table, upsetting the tableware.

“Oh, honey,” said Tex, rubbing her between the shoulder blades. “It’s gonna be fine.”

Marge lifted her head.“Do you really believe what she said about Charlie Dieber complimenting her on being ‘rad?’”

“Yeah, that actually happened. I was right there when he told her.”

“The world has gone stark-raving mad,” Marge groaned, and thunked her head again.

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“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” said Jerry as Johnny closed the door of the car. They darted across the road and immediately disappeared into the alley next to the hotel.

“Do you think this bag is big enough, Jer?” asked Johnny, showing Jerry a ginormous gym bag.

“I like it when you think big, Johnny,” said Jerry with a grin.

“I hope they’ve got Rolexes,” said Johnny, sounding like a kid on Christmas morning. “If they got some nice Rolexes I might grab one for me. I’ve always liked Rolexes.”

“Once we pull this off, you can have all the Rolexes in the world,” said Jerry, who was also in buoyant mood. It was the adrenaline, and the excitement of a job well-planned and about to be well-executed. He never got tired of that zippy sensation.

“I just hope there’s no security,” said Johnny, returning to his favorite theme.

“I told you a million times already, Johnny. All the bodyguards will be downstairs with the people they’re supposed to be guarding with their bodies, not upstairs.”

“And I hope they didn’t use the hotel safe. I hate it when they do that. So unfair. But even if they did, I’m going to crack that safe, Jer. I’m gonna crack it open like a coconut.”

“That’s the spirit, Johnny,” said Jerry. “That’s that will to win right there.”

They’d arrived at the fire escape and now climbed the metal stairs to the fourth floor, where the rooms of the Weskits and that twerp pop singer and his girl were located.

“First the Weskits,” Jerry said.

“And then the twerp,” Johnny cheerfully sang.

It took Johnny only a couple of seconds of fiddling with the lock to open the fire exit door and then they were in. They jogged along the corridor in search of the Weskits’ room and once they’d found it, it was only a few moments before that lock too, yielded to the power of Johnny’s toolkit and experience. They quickly burst in and closed the door.

“Let’s do this!” Jerry whispered.

“Hallelujah!” Johnny yodeled.

Chapter 23

“Trespassers,” said the eyes that glowed in the dark. Or at least the creature to whom the eyes belonged. As a rule, eyes rarely burst into speech.

“No, visitors,” I corrected the feline. “Friendly visitors that come in peace.”

The cat was silent for a brief moment, then finally emerged from the shadows so I could see it whole. It was one of those hairless cats—the ones without any fur—and for a moment I couldn’t help but stare at it. Next to me, Dooley had also materialized, attracted by the voices, and was gripped by the same sudden fascination with this rare creature, for the cat grunted, “Cat got your tongue? Never seen a hairless cat before?”

“Um, as a matter of fact I haven’t,” I confessed. “This is a first for me.”

“Oh, you poor cat,” said Dooley, perhaps not striking the right tone. “Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?” the cat growled, its eyes narrowing dangerously.

“When they shaved you. It must have hurt. What did they use? A razor blade or an electric razor? And who did it? Your humans or a professional? A professional, probably. At one of those pet salons. I don’t see any shaving nicks. When Chase shaves in the morning he always manages to cut himself.Odelia’s told him several times he should use an electric razor but he insists they don’t produce the same smooth finish as his trusty Gillette. To each their own, I guess, though I think Odelia’s right, to be honest—you’re probably wondering who Odelia is. She’s our human, and she would never, ever shave us. Except if we asked her, of course, which we never will. Which isn’t to say I don’t approve of your personal life choice, sir or ma’am. Like I said, to each their own.”