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Unfortunately soon after we arrived we cats were all relegated to the kitchen, as no pets were allowed in the dining room, and soon after we were all kicked out of the kitchen by an irate chef, and found ourselves in a back alley, which left a lot to be desired.

“Um… I was actually looking forward to having a sumptuous meal,” said Prunella.

We stared at the row of dumpsters lining one wall, and a heap of rubble and garbage piled up against the other. It didn’t look all that appetizing.

“Clarice would love this,” said Brutus with profound affection.

“Who’s Clarice?” asked Prunella.

“A friend of ours back home,” I said. “She likes to eat in the rough.”

“Oh, a feral cat?”

“Exactly, though she has mellowed out a little and has taken a liking to Odelia.”

We took a seat on the wet cement floor behind the restaurant and even as I put my nose in the air and smelled all those delicious smells wafting from the vent attached to the kitchen, my stomach was grumbling louder and louder.

“Man, I’m hungry,” said Brutus.

“Me, too,” said Harriet sadly. Not only did she only have three paws whose nails had been buffed and polished, but now she had to place her perfectly white Persian tush on this dirty cement slab. A sad ending to a sad day.

Just then, two dogs came wandering up.

“Oh, God. Not dogs, too,” Harriet lamented.

“Oh, hey, you guys,” said the first dog, a male Schnauzer. “Any luck?”

“If you’re referring to the food on offer, no luck, I’m afraid,” I said.

“Hi, there,” said the second dog, a lady Cocker Spaniel.

They both looked nice enough. I pegged them as a young couple.

“Tony is usually pretty punctual,” said the lady.

“I guess we’re early,” said her mate, who looked like a tramp.

And as if he’d overheard the conversation, suddenly the backdoor to the restaurant swung open and a man came hurrying out. “Oh, have I got the feast for you tonight!” he said with a wide smile. He then plunked down a small table and placed a large dish of something that looked and smelled edible on top of it.

“Spaghetti and meatballs!” he cried, gesturing to the sizable pot. “Tuck in, my friends!”

We all got a little closer and he laughed.“Oh, I see you brought some friends tonight. Well, dig in. There’s enough for everyone!”

“Gee, thanks, Tony,” said the tramp, and took a seat at the table. Across from him, the lady dog also took a seat, and soon they were both putting their snouts into the big pot of pasta.

I looked at Dooley, Dooley looked at me. Harriet and Brutus shared a look. Prunella, though, didn’t need encouragement. She was already digging in. “Come on, you guys,” she said. “This stuff is delicious!”

I moved closer and took a bite. She was right. The stuff really was delicious.

Behind us, Tony stood watching. He clapped his hands and smiled.“You like?”

“Yeah, we like, Tony,” said the lady dog.

“You did it again, Tony,” said the tramp.

“I’m so happy!” Tony cried, and returned inside the kitchen.

“My name is Tramp, by the way,” said the big dog, “and this here is Lady.”

“Max,” I said between two bites, and the others all introduced themselves as well.

It took me a while to make the connection, then I frowned and looked up at our two canine companions.

“Lady and the Tramp. You mean, like in the Disney movie?”

“Yeah, we’re actors,” said Tramp.

“That’s us in the movie,” Lady explained. “Well, our voices, anyway.”

“But… that movie is… old.”

Lady looked up and smiled sweetly at her mate.“The miracle of cloning, Max.”

“Yeah, cloning is all the rage. We made our debut in 1955 and we’ve been going strong ever since. Isn’t that right, sweetie-pie?”

“Absolutely, honey bunch.”

“You hear that, Brutus? They sound exactly like us,” said Harriet.

“They sure do, sugar plum,” said Brutus, but he was too busy eating to say more.

“We didLady and the Tramp II,” said Lady.

“Straight to video,” said Tramp.

“And then of course the live-action movie,” said Lady. “We’re very proud of that one.”

“We’re doing the sequel now,” said Tramp.

“We make a pretty good living.”

“Yeah, can’t complain,” said Tramp, and sucked in a string of pasta. As luck would have it, Lady was sucking in the same pasta string, only from the other side. When they met in the middle, they kissed—just like in the movie!

And as I picked out a meatball myself, I thought what a strange place this Hollywood was, and suddenly I was starting to feel homesick. This was a lot of fun, meeting stars like Lady and Tramp, but I was missing my friends. Kingman and Shanille and Clarice… They might not have been cloned or Botoxed or primped and tucked and pampered, but they were real. And they were my buddies.

Hampton Cove was suddenly starting to look really good.

Chapter 28

Inside the restaurant, the atmosphere was downcast, which was hardly a surprise, as one of the members of the party had been discharged from hospital only hours before, and didn’t exactly look hot to trot.

“You should go home,” said Marilyn. “You look like death warmed up.”

“Thanks for the compliment,” said Opal.