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I was impressed with how professional Aleksy and Connie were being. They had made a list of the people taking part in the show– and us cats, of course – along with the roles they would be playing. We had six shepherds and only four sheep – or, four cats playing sheep – so Aleksy said they were going to get some toy sheep to make up a flock. There were three wise men, or ‘wise people’ as Barbara the cat-hating woman was one of them. Jonathan said best not to give her too much of a speaking part in case she launched into Shakespeare again. I was just glad she wasn’t a shepherd – imagine her being in charge of us cats? It made my fur shudder. Polly was going to be the angry innkeeper, although she was now an Airbnb owner, whatever that was. Connie said that the innkeeper was always male and it was time for a change because women could be innkeepers too. Sylvie and Marcus were – reluctantly – going to be Mary and Joseph, as they’d agreed in the end. Matt and Tomasz were shepherds along with some of the others who’d auditioned. Sienna, a girl from Tommy’s class in school – one everyone seemed to be in love with – was going to be the angel Gabriel and there were going to be four other angels, played by four other women and girls. Jonathan refused a part because he was the sponsor and accountant – he said it wouldn’t be appropriate – and Claire was definitely going to be needed backstage to organise the cast and make sure the show ran on time. Aleksy and Connie were both directors and they had also written the script. We all had our roles. We were all systems go.

And Sienna, it seemed, might be the answer to our Tommy problem. He blushed every time her name was mentioned and it was clear he liked her. I hoped that meant he’d be on his best behaviour whenever she was around, and maybe, just maybe, he’d stop being so difficult. Love could really straighten people out after all.

Matt had designed a poster, tickets were going to be available pretty soon, and rehearsals were due to start in a few days. We needed plenty of rehearsal time and, at first, they were doing it in stages, so that not everyone had to be at the hall all the time. It was pretty well organised for an amateur production. That was what Aleksy said anyway. They were taking everything very seriously. And although I was taking it very seriously myself, I was also determined to make sure I enjoyed myself. Have I mentioned that it was my idea?

George was next door teaching Hana how to be a sheep, and also how to have‘stage presence’, although he did say that he wasn’t sure it could be taught, you might have to be born with it. Honestly, the kitten was becoming a monster. It was quite cute, actually. Annoying – incredibly annoying – but also sweet in a way. Another dichotomy of parenting.

Claire was cooking dinner when the doorbell went. I followed her out to the hallway and waited to see who our latest visitor was. I almost shrank back into the house when I saw it was the Barbara woman, but I was determined to hear why she was here. At the moment, I didn’t like her. She had not only chased us with a bin bag and nearly got us run over, but also was rude to us at the show audition. She scowled at us when she thought no one else was looking. The problem was that none of the humans had seen any of this. How dare she come to our house?

‘Hello,’ Claire said. ‘It’s Barbara, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it is.’ Standing on the doorstep, she spotted me and her eyes narrowed.

‘Would you like to come in?’ Claire was so polite but she didn’t know how awful this woman was. I hissed. ‘Alfie, don’t hiss,’ Claire chastised. No idea at all. But I really didn’t want the cat hater in my house. So I stepped closer to the doorstep. She wouldn’t dare attack me in front of Claire, I was pretty sure, but I hoped it would put her off coming in.

‘No, no, I don’t need to come in.’ She glared at me again.

‘Right, well what can I do for you?’ Claire asked. Yes, I wanted to know that too.

‘It’s about the show.’

‘The show?’

‘Yes, you’ve put me down as a wise man.’

‘Yes, it’s a pivotal role – you’re going to have a few lines, sing, and give the baby Jesus a gift. We really thought we needed someone with your experience to pull it off.’ Claire smiled. Barbara did not smile back.

‘But as I explained, I used to be a drama teacher and I’ve always acted; I was the star of our old amateur dramatic group before I moved here. I’m wasted being a wise man, I should be Mary or the angel Gabriel – a main role.’ I took a step back. Was she mad? Mary was so much younger than her and the angel was supposed to be this ethereal being (I heard Claire say that), and although I wasn’t one hundred per cent sure what ethereal meant, I was pretty sure Barbara wasn’t it. I would never get the picture of her swinging a black bag at me and George out of my head.