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Dooley was lying next to me, also in deep slumber, while Odelia had left to interview Zelda Yoke, the actress who’d murdered her long-time rival. According to Odelia it was a sad case, though I didn’t see it that way. Rivalry amongst actors has always existed. Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine. Tom and Jerry. The list goes on and on. Only this time a line had been crossed and one rival had actually murdered another rival. I guess it’s just one of those things. I think they call it an occupational hazard. I’m sure you can even take out insurance against it.

“Max, you devil,” suddenly a voice rang out nearby.

I opened one eye and saw that Harriet had drifted into the room.

“Hey, Harriet. How’s things?”

“Things are lousy. You just solved my case without me! You actually went around my back and solved my case!”

“Hey, I just had one of my famous hunches. You can’t blame me for being brilliant.”

She seemed really fired up, for she was pacing the room, her face all scrunched up in an expression of extreme upset.“This was my case, Max. My case. I was going to solve it.”

“By surfing the web. Riiiight,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“It’s the new way! The modern way.”

“Solving a murder case without leaving the house? That’s just ridiculous!”

“No, it’s not. Hercule Poirot solved murder cases just by letting his little gray cells do all the work. And he didn’t even have a computer!”

“He had that gumshoe, that Hastings guy to do all the legwork for him,” I reminded her. Which actually wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe next case I could get Dooley to do all the walking around—which is kinda exhausting, you have to admit, not to mention tedious—and then I’d simply put twoand two together and come up with a brilliant solution. Just like that pint-sized Belgian detective!

Brutus had also joined us and was sticking his nose in the air and sniffing.“Cat Snax?” he asked.

“Yup. My reward for cracking another case.”

He grimaced.“Good for you, Max. Though I wouldn’t advertise the fact too much. Harriet’s been sore as a gumboil ever since she found out.”

Harriet, who’d disappeared into the kitchen, now returned, and Brutus was right. She was sore as a gumboil. Maybe even sorer. Like two gumboils. “I can’t believe Odelia let you skip your diet!” she cried. “Cat Snax? Really? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

I wasn’t following. “Ashamed of myself for cracking this case?”

“No, for manipulating Odelia into letting you cheat on your diet.”

“It’s my reward. I did the work and now I deserve a reward.”

“Don’t you see that you’re endangering yourself with this morbid obesity you’re pushing for, Max?”

“Hey, who are you calling morbidly obese?”

“You, Max. You are morbidly obese.”

“And you are jealous I cracked the case and you didn’t.”

“You only think about yourself, don’t you? Huh?”

“Who else is there to think about?” I asked, puzzled.

“He’s got a point, toots,” said Brutus.

She turned on him in a flash.“Oh, now you’re taking his side?”

“No, but…”

“You men! You’re all the same! Never a thought about anyone but yourselves! Have you ever considered Odelia’s feelings, Max?”

“Um…”

“How devastated she’s going to be when you die?”

“Well, I don’t intend to die anytime soon, so the point is moot.”

Dooley, who’d followed the back-and-forth with mild interest, laughed. “Moot. Funny word.”

“The way you’re going, you are going to die soon, Max. And Odelia is going to be crushed. For some reason—Lord only knows why—she seems to care about you, and the loss will be a blow.”

I thought about this. Maybe Harriet was right. If I died—which was a very big if, mind you—Odelia wouldn’t take the news well. She did like me a lot. And what was not to like? I’m funny, charming, handsome, clever and I provide great entertainment.

“Look, I’m not going to die, Harriet,” I said. “So you can stop with all the scaremongering. I know you’re jealous because I cracked another case and you’ll say just about anything to upset me but it’s not going to work.”

“Good one, bro,” Brutus muttered.

I glanced over. Weird. Brutus was taking my side now? This was something new.

“Well, I’ll have you know that if you keep digging your grave with your teeth the way you’ve been doing for some time now you’ll be dead within a year. Probably even less. So there.”

“Is she right, Max?” asked Dooley. “Are you going to die soon?”

“Of course I’m not going to die! I’m far too young to die!”

“Not if you keep eating those Cat Snax,” said Harriet. “That stuff will kill you.”

“Pretty tasty, though,” Brutus muttered, refusing to meet Harriet’s gaze.

“And the same goes for you, Brutus,” said Harriet. “If you can’t stick to your diet we’re finished. Kaput. The end.”

He directed a pleading look at her.“Come on, babe. I’m not as fat as Max. Just look at us. He’s a lot fatter than me. He’s at least twice my size.”

“That’s because he’s a different body type,” she snapped.