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And so he kept on watching Carl like a hawk—or an extremely vigilant cat—ready to pounce on the man as soon as he made a move to pounce on our human.

“So you’re not going to grant her the divorce?” asked Odelia. Carl had just managed to hit the ball into the rough, and was rooting around where it had fallen.

“Just give Erica a little time, Miss Poole. She’ll come to see that she doesn’t really want a divorce. That in fact she’s never been happier.”

“She doesn’t look happy to me, Mr. Strauss.”

Carl smiled his charming smile.“That’s because you don’t know her. If you knew her as well as I do—she is, after all, my wife—you’d know that before she met me she was living a shallow life—the life of a person focused on outer appearances. Since we met she’s discovered there’s a deeper layer to our existence as human beings.”

“And what is that?”

“Love, Miss Poole! And with me, she found this deeper layer. And rest assured, she doesn’t want to go without this precious love that we share. This wedded bliss. Okay, so from time to time I’ve strayed. I’ve made myself too available to members of the opposite sex. But that’s just a physical thing. Me being a warm and tactile person. But the love that Erica and I share? Nothing can ever come close to that. I know it, and she knows it.”

“Look, you can talk all you want, Mr. Strauss,” said Odelia, “but the fact of the matter is that your wife is very upset with you right now, and that she doesn’t want anything to do with you. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can both move on.”

“But I don’t want to move on!” suddenly Carl burst out. It was the first time he’d allowed an outburst like that, and for a moment the mask slipped and the angry and frustrated individual underneath showed. But then he quickly composed himself again. He ducked down behind a bush and picked up his ball. “Well, there you are, you little devil,” he said, and briskly walked back to the green, where he proceeded to place the ball down, give it a good whack with his club, and watch it plunge into the lake. He heaved a deep sigh, then said, “Looks like this isn’t my day.”

“So are you going to grant your wife her divorce?” asked Odelia.

Carl turned to her, an enigmatic smile on his face.“Erica and I are meant to be together, Miss Poole. And a love like that? That once-in-a-lifetime bond? You don’t break that up. So no, I’ll never divorce Erica, and if she tries to divorce me, I’ll fight her with everything I’ve got. In fact I’ll fight her till my dying breath. Is that clear enough for you?”

“Crystal,” said Odelia.

Just then, I suddenly had the feeling we were being watched. My skin crawled, and a shiver ran down my spine. But as I looked around, I couldn’t see anyone. There was just me and Dooley, Carl and Odelia, and his caddy, a young man who hadn’t spoken a word, and whose sole purpose seemed to be to carry Carl’s bag of clubs around all day. A sad life, I would have thought, and not unlike the life of a vassal carrying his lord’s sword, back in the day when knights were the cat’s meow and swords were the cat’s whiskers.

“He’s going to attack!” suddenly Dooley cried, and before I could stop him, he shot forward and launched himself in the direction of the famous golf pro. Lucky for him, just in that moment Carl bent down to tie a shoelace, and Dooley flew right over his head, then landed a few feet beyond hisintended target.

“Dooley!” Odelia snapped. “What did I tell you?”

When Carl looked up, and saw the small gray ragamuffin, he frowned.“Cats,” he growled, his charming demeanor suddenly history. “I hate cats. They destroy the green.”

“Dooley, get back here!” I hissed as Carl took a firmer grip on his golf club, and seemed ready to take a good whack at my friend.

“Stay back, Miss Poole,” the golf pro said. “I’ll deal with this vile pest!”

“No!” said Odelia.

“Don’t be afraid,” Carl assured her. “I’ve dealt with the terrible beasts before. I never miss!” And to show her he meant what he said, he took a swing at a cowering Dooley!

“Stop it!” Odelia cried. “That’s my cat!”

Dooley, of course, wasn’t taking this kind of treatment lying down. When that club started to shift in his direction with deadly force, he scooted for cover, and quickly disappeared into the undergrowth.

“Your cat? But cats aren’t allowed on the links,” Carl pointed out, looking around for Dooley but failing to find him. And then of course he spotted me! “There’s another one!” he bellowed. “Stay back, Miss Poole! I’ll fix him for you! Stay still, you horrible beast!”

“No! He’s also mine!”

Carl stared at our human.“You brought two cats onto the links?”

Odelia shrugged, looking a little shamefaced now.“They like to follow me around.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Carl, looking annoyed. He frowned at me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take care of this fat orange one for you? He looks nasty.”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Hey, buddy,” I said, taking a step forward. “First of all, I’m blorange, not orange. And secondly, I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.”