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“I think humans are basically jealous of other living creatures,” I said, feeling magnanimous and in the mood to expand on some of my ideas regarding my favorite species. “They’re jealous of ducks for their ability to travel across the water and so they build boats. They’re jealous of birds for their ability to soar across the skies and so they build airplanes. And of course they’re jealous of proud animals like lions for their ability to perform great feats of speed and so they build automobiles. Just simple psychology.”

“So it’s all about jealousy? That’s the reason we’re now traveling on the ocean, with only a few layers of metal between us and certain death by drowning?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel the other night about the fact that the human body isn’t designed for being in the water,” Dooley said after a moment’s pause. “If you dunk a horse in the water it floats, and it will easily be able to keep its head above the water and can even propel itself forward by making the same movements of its legs as it does on land. In fact practically all animals can swim, except humans. If you shove a human into the water, and he hasn’t learned how to swim, he will drown, because a human body, when it floats, can’t keep its nose above thesurface. It’s got something to do with the center of gravity.”

“Interesting,” I said, nodding. If Dooley had told me about the spatial patterns of army ants foraging it would have interested me. That’s because I was well fed and well-rested after a short sojourn on the cabin’s couch, and I was now ready to face the world, or even listen to stories about humans’ capacity or incapacity for being submerged in water.

I glanced out from under the chair and saw that Lil Thug was still attracting a lot of attention. He’d found himself at our table, and didn’t seem to mind one bit to be sitting amongst those lesser folks who didn’t have rare diamonds encrusted to their faces.

“So that’s really real?” asked Chase, as he pointed to the rapper’s pink diamond.

The rapper smiled enigmatically and nodded.“Absolutely, Detective Kingsley.”

“Chase, please,” said Chase. “I’m on vacation, so no police business for me.”

“It is a real diamond, and it took me a long time to save up enough money to buy it.”

“But… why?”

“Well,” said Lil Thug, as he settled back in his chair, “I guess I’ve always had a certain fondness for gems, and when I saw this particular gem, I just knew I had to have it.”

“But why have it stuck to your face?”

“Because I wanted to try something new. Something no one had ever tried before.”

“And you certainly succeeded.”

“But isn’t it dangerous?” asked Odelia. It was a question that had crossed my mind, too. “I mean, shouldn’t you feel safer if that diamond was in a vault somewhere?”

“What’s the point of owning a rare diamond only to have it locked away in some vault somewhere? Isn’t the whole point of possessing an object of beauty that you can admire it? Look at it and marvel at its sheer splendor? I mean, I’ve had many people come up to me to simply stare at the diamond. And that’s exactly the effect I wanted to achieve.”

“You wanted people to come up and stare at you?”

“No! I want them to admire beauty. Pure beauty. And for me I simply want to become one with the object. I want tobe the diamond.” He shrugged. “It’s hard to explain.”

“No, but I think I get it. You were so impressed with this diamond you wanted to have it with you at all times. You want to, like, merge with the stone. Be blessed by its beauty.”

“See? I knew you’d understand,” said Lil Thug, and took a sip from his glass of wine.

I retracted my head again.“Do you feel that, Dooley?” I asked.

“No, what?”

“Exactly. I don’t feel that we’re on a boat, do you?”

Dooley gave me a look of slight constipation, signifying that he was thinking hard, then shook his head.“Gee, Max, you’re right. The boat doesn’t make any noise.”

“Or vibrations. Even the wine in Odelia and Chase’s glasses isn’t rippling.”

“You’re right. It’s almost as if we’re still on land.”

Lil Thug excused himself and got up. He said he had a show to rehearse tomorrow, and wanted to be at his best so he needed his rest. I immediately jumped up on the chair the rapper with the diamond appendage had vacated and smiled at my humans.“I think I’m starting to like this trip. Good food, a great couch, and I almost can’t feel that I’m on a boat.”

“No, you’re right,” said Odelia. “If I didn’t know any better I would think we haven’t left port yet. No tremor—no sound of the engines.”

“What’s going on over there?” asked Chase, as he pointed to what looked like some kind of altercation. A man dressed in a neat uniform was escorting a young girl away, followed by what could only be her parents. More uniformed personnel were talking to a couple seated at a nearby table, and doing their best to appease them.