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On a table in the center of the pet salon, a small dog was being primped to his heart’s content, and on what looked like a barber’s chair another dog, this one not so small, was having his coat given a relaxing treatment with a soft brush. It shone like spun gold.

I gulped a little. Coming so close on the heels of my contretemps with a member of the canine species, the last thing I was looking for was to be in the same room with two more members of that same species. These dogs didn’t look dangerous, though. Then again, Sugar hadn’t looked all that dangerous, either!

“Hi,” said Chase when a woman approached the counter located near the entrance. He showed her his badge and immediately a wary look came into the young woman’s eyes. People often have that reaction when Chase shows them his badge.

“Why does she look like she’s about to be arrested, Max?” asked Dooley, who had noticed the same phenomenon.

“I think the presence of a police officer makes people feel guilty, even if they haven’t done anything wrong,” I explained.

“But if they haven’t done anything wrong, why should they feel guilty?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe they think they might have done something, but they’re not sure what.”

“I don’t understand. How can you do something wrong and not know what it was?”

I gave him a smile.“If I walked up to you and said, ‘Dooley, look what you did!’ wouldn’t you feel anxious, even though for the life of you, you can’t remember what it was that you’re supposed to have done?”

He thought about that for a brief moment, then shook his head.“No, I wouldn’t.”

He was the wrong cat to ask, of course. Dooley would never do anything wrong. He’s just not that kind of cat. His conscience is clear, and so he doesn’t have anything to worry about, even if the police suddenly do show up on his doorstep, and flash a badge in his face. But humans are different. They live in a world with so many rules it’s inevitable that by lunchtime they will have broken a couple of them, even inadvertently. Maybe they started to cross the street before the light changed, or maybe they forgot to pay their car insurance, or inadvertently jumped the line at their local Starbucks.

“I just want to verify that Janette Bittiner was in here earlier,” said Chase, trying his best to put the young pet shop employee at ease by offering her a disarming smile.

“Janette? Yeah, she was in here,” said the girl, visibly glad Chase wasn’t there for her.

“Could you tell us what time? Just part of a routine inquiry,” he hastened to add.

And while the young woman searched her memory, Dooley and I inspected the place. They did indeed have everything your pampered pet needs: a nail clipping station, a grooming station, a place where pets could be deloused, if they so chose, and even a small assortment of toys and clothes for your proud pet to wear!

We studied the clothes long and hard, but couldn’t for the life of us imagine ever wearing anything like that.

“I always thought it was just humans who liked to wear clothes and shoes, Max,” Dooley said as he intently studied a pink tutu.

“Dogs, too,” I said.

“Sugar, you mean.”

I nodded, and silently thanked that little blue coat the Shih Tzu had been wearing. If he hadn’t, it’s not inconceivable that he’d shaved off a couple of milliseconds from his time, and would have been able to nab me before I reached the safety of Janette’s curtains.

“I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in this, Max,” said Dooley, finally having come to a decision in regards to the tutu.

“No, me neither,” I said.

“Oh, look at you sweethearts,” suddenly a woman tooted in our ears. She was a woman with a very deep tan, very thin, and her breath smelled like an ashtray. She’d bent down and snapped up the tutu. “Here, let me give you guys a hand,” she said, and before I knew what was happening, suddenly she’d outfitted me with the tutu!

“Um, I don’t want to wear this, ma’am,” I said as politely as I could.

“Look in that mirror over there,” she said, and as I did as instructed, I had to blink when I caught sight of myself. “Looks lovely, doesn’t it, sweetheart?” said the woman. “Though I’m not sure about the size. You are a hefty fella, aren’t you? Let me see if I can find something inyour size—a little less snug around that chubby tummy of yours!”

“Dooley,” I said as I slowly turned to my friend, who was quietly snickering next to me as he took in the scene. “If you breathe a word about this to anyone, I swear I’ll… I’ll…”

“You look great, Max,” said my friend, still grinning from ear to ear. “I think Odelia should snap a couple of pictures.” And before I could stop him, he’d already skedaddled.

And try as I might, I simply couldn’t get out of that terrible outfit! I wiggled and I squirmed but it was all to no avail!