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“Oh, why did you throw yourself away on that loser?” he lamented. “Why? And then when I told you, you just laughed. You laughed! I declared my everlasting love and you threw it back in my face! So I lost it. I had the knife in my hand from peeling an apple so I stabbed you. I never meant to hurt you. How could I! I love you, Dany. I love you! Oh, I’m so sorry…”

He collapsed into a blubbering mess of mucus and misery. She was upon him, bending over him, dripping her blood on him. He felt it. In his hair. Then she reached out a hand and touched him and he screamed!

“No—don’t take me with you!” he yelled. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“And you should be,” Dany said. Only her voice had suddenly taken on a different timbre.

And as he looked up into her face, she smiled. He blinked.“What’s going on?”

From across the stage, several people now came walking out. He recognized Marisa, the intern who’d texted him, and Bernice from makeup, Janice from the costume department, but also that police chief, and Detective Kingsley.

“Conway Kemp,” said the Chief sternly. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Dany Cooper.”

He snapped his head up, to take in Dany again.“Dany? What’s going on?”

“I’m not Dany, Con,” said the woman, as she accepted a paper towel from Bernice and started wiping away her makeup. “But if I were, I’d tell you that you’re a monster. And that you’ll be punished for what you did to her.”

And only then did he recognize her as Odelia Poole.

Oh, darn it.

Chapter 41

Our humans were all seated around the table in Marge’s backyard. Tex was incinerating burger patties on the grill, with the expert assistance of Alec and Chase, while Gran was listening intently to Odelia and Marge trying to make a few things clear about this case.

“So there never was a yellow parka gang?” the old lady asked, looking confused.

“No, there wasn’t. Those were all random accidents that just happened to happen on the same day,” Marge explained

“But the mast of the pirate ship? That was tampered with, right?”

“Construction error. That mast could have dropped down any time. Someone had glued those two pieces together instead of using bolts. The glue didn’t hold and the whole thing came crashing down.”

“But I saw a man dressed in yellow,” Gran insisted.

“Probably the person who lives in that house, wearing a yellow sweater,” said Odelia.

“What about you, Tex?” Gran bellowed over the sound of the sizzling burgers. “You saw a man shove that flowerpot from the windowsill, didn’t you?”

“Quite frankly I never saw anyone,” said Tex, a little sheepish. “I saw movement, but that was probably just the window flapping, which was the reason the pot dropped down in the first place.”

“I don’t get it,” said Gran, shaking her head in frustration. “I was so sure there was a gang targeting us.”

“No gang. Just a bunch of freak accidents,” said Odelia.

“But stuff like that never happened to us before!” Gran insisted. “So why did it happen now?”

Odelia nor Marge had an answer to that.

“I think I know what happened,” said Dooley.

We were all seated on the porch swing, and we stared at Dooley.

“Why is that?” asked Harriet.

“Because the universe wanted to demonstrate just how well-protected the Pooles are. And what better way to do that than by engaging them in a series of near-fatal accidents?”

Those were some real words of wisdom, and coming from Dooley, too!

“Sounds plausible,” I said. “If you accept that there is a universe that’s wise and conscious.”

“Of course there is,” said Dooley. “Why else would it have placed us in this family, with such nice people? That can’t be a coincidence, can it?”

It was a tough proposition to ponder, and my head was already hurting.

“I don’t know about all of that,” said Brutus. “I’m just glad I ended up where I am.” He gave Harriet a tiny nudge, and she giggled.

“So am I,” she said.

The two love birds quickly tired of our company, and hopped off the porch to celebrate their newfound reconciliation in their favored rosebushes. The sinkhole had been filled up by Gran, and the bushes had been made cat-safe once more.

“There’s one thing that still puzzles me, though,” said Dooley.

“What’s that?”

“Why weren’t there any fingerprints on the knife Conway used to kill Dany?”

That was a question I could answer.“He wiped them off. Beforehe took off.”

“So it was a crime of passion?”

“It was. He didn’t plan to kill her. It just happened. And he couldn’t believe his luck that no one had seen him.”

“So why did he try to frame Wolf? Wasn’t he supposed to be his best friend?”

“He secretly hated Wolf for seducing Dany and playing fast and loose with her.”

“He did it all for love,” said Dooley with a sigh.

“He did it because he couldn’t accept that when a woman says No, she means No.”

Just then, Chase sat down on the porch next to us, leaned his arms on the back support and glanced the other way.“So what’s all this about a witness named Ringo, huh?”

He glanced in our direction, as we stared back at him, dubious.

“Do you think he understands us now?” asked Dooley.