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“Obviously dogs have infiltrated Hollywood, and pushed cats out of the picture.”

“Even Disney is guilty in that department,” I said, darting a quick glance at Harriet. She was still moping, but I could tell she was dying to have a little chat about the topic that was near to her heart—and it wasn’t the underrepresentation of cats in the entertainment industry. “Name me a cat movie Disney made that depicts cats in a favorable light. I doubt you’ll find one.”

“That Darn Cat?” Dooley suggested. “The Aristocats?”

“Made in the stone ages,” I said. “Any more recent examples?”

Dooley thought hard, but couldn’t come up with a single one. “I’m sorry, Max. I don’t… Oh!Cats& Dogs. There were cats in that one, weren’t there?”

“Not Disney. And the cats were the villains,” I said. “Which is exactly what the dog lobby wants. No, face it, Dooley. Cats should probably create a lobby, like the dogs have, and march on Hollywood, demanding equal representation.”

“We should have our own franchise,” Dooley agreed. “LikeBeethoven, but with cats.”

“Or our own shows, likeLassie, but with cats.”

“Or even books. LikeOld Yeller, but with cats.”

“Will you two shut up about Hollywood for a moment,” Harriet suddenly burst out.

“Well, excuse us if we care about how underrepresented we are in Hollywood,” I said, feigning indignation.

“What I don’t get is how you can still hang out with Brutus after what he did to me,” Harriet said. “I’m your oldest friend, Max—not Brutus. I even distinctly remember you once calling him a usurper and an intruder in your own home. And now you’re taking his side against me? I expected more from you. And you, Dooley.”

“Me?” asked Dooley, surprised. “What did I do?”

“You chose Brutus over your oldest, dearest friend. And it’s something I will never forgive you for.”

Dooley seemed flabbergasted. I wasn’t. Harriet is prone to these spells of drama. It’s all those daytime soap operas she watches with Gran. They have affected her usually sunny disposition and made her prone to extreme melodramatic outbursts such as this latest one.

“I’ll have you know that I haven’t taken Brutus’s side,” I said.

“Me neither,” said Dooley. “I can’t take sides when I care for both sides equally.”

“Well put, Dooley,” I said.

“Besides, what were we supposed to do? Let Brutus drown?”

This was news to Harriet, apparently, for she jerked her head up from contemplating the setting sun and gave us a penetrating look.“Drown? What are you talking about?”

“Brutus almost drowned today,” I said. “If Chase hadn’t been there to pull him out of the duck pond, he wouldn’t be here.”

“Well, he isn’t here,” Dooley pointed out.

“That’s because Harriet chased him away,” I said. “Poor cat. First he almost died trying to extract vital information from a duck, then he had to take a needle in the neck from Vena, and when he finally arrives in his own home, what does he get? A furious female lashing out and chasing him away. He’s probably out there right now, sleeping with the rats and the other vermin, no choice but to live a life on the street, like a common reject.”

Harriet seemed to waver, then her expression hardened.“If he almost died, that serves him right. He shouldn’t have been mooning over Darlene’s backside like that.”

“For your information, he wasn’t mooning over Darlene’s backside any more than Darlene was mooning over his.”

“Darlene was mooning over Brutus’s backside a little, Max,” Dooley said.

“Fine. I’ll grant you that. She lured Brutus into this rendezvous, but the moment Brutus realized his mistake, he immediately set the record straight. ‘Frankly,’ he told Darlene, ‘there’s only one cat for me and that’s Harriet. So I’m very sorry but I can’t do this.’”

“And immediately buried his nose in her butt,” said Harriet scathingly.

“He did no such thing,”

“You can argue your point all night long, Max,” said Harriet, “but I know what I saw, and what I saw was Brutus getting ready to get down and dirty with Darlene and I, for one, am not the kind of cat who will stand for such nonsense.”

Just at that moment, Odelia arrived down the stairs, and Tex waltzed in through the sliding glass door that gives out onto the backyard. I should probably warn you that in this family, nobody ever knocks. People just come barging in whenever they please.

“Hey, Dad” Odelia said. “Brutus!” she added when she saw who Tex was carrying.

Brutus looked a little rattled, and perhaps the fact that Harriet already had her back up again had something to do with that.

“Look who I found roaming the streets like a critter,” said Tex good-naturedly. “And almost being run over, too.”

“I was almost run over by the killer of that Dany Cooper girl,” said Brutus, keeping a close eye on Harriet, who seemed ready to pounce.

“Run over!” Odelia exclaimed.

“That’s the second time I almost died today,” Brutus said, still eyeing Harriet keenly.