31906844db5c02010017a90f3f2ca805

I straightened. The job of being spokesperson for an entire crew of cats is a responsible one, and I wanted to get this exactly right.

“You shouldn’t have done it, Gran,” said Harriet, interrupting my carefully prepared speech. “You had no right!”

“Which is exactly what I told Odelia,” said Gran, nodding. She cut me a quick sideways glance. “So have you lawyered up yet?”

“Lawyered up?” I asked.

“Good. A load off my mind. Don’t,” she said. “Lawyer up, I mean. This is not a case you’re likely to win. I mean, I know this is against your feline rights and all that jazz, but humans have rights too, or at least that’s what Marge told me. And one of them is the right not to have yourentire house urinated on.”

“We don’t urinate indoors!” I said, utterly shocked.

“No, we are civilized cats, Gran,” said Dooley. “We only urinate in the designated spot, which just so happens to be covered in nice-smelling, dust-free, clumping, non-tracking, hypoallergenic cat litter for our convenience.”

“I know, I know, but allegedly non-neutered cats urinate all over the damn place, which is probably what Odelia was trying to avoid—hence the snip.”

“At any rate, we want you to take us to Vena and have the procedure reversed,” said Harriet. “Brutus and I are in love, and we want to start a family together to celebrate that love. Isn’t that right, my cuddly lion?”

“Absolutely, sugar cookie.”

Gran darted a quick look in the rearview mirror.“Start a family, huh?”

“We were thinking, maybe two or three?”

“I could go for four or five,” Brutus indicated proudly.

“Oh, Super Cat.”

“Oh, Wonder Cat.”

“Oh, hell,” Dooley muttered.

“Reverse the procedure, huh? Yeah, well, let’s talk to Odelia first,” said Gran, who was shuffling uncomfortably in her seat.

“Don’t tell me, the procedure can’t be reversed, right?” I said, feeling the way the wind was blowing.

“I didn’t say that. Did I say that? I’m not a vet, so how the hell should I know? Let’s talk to Odelia and that’s my final word on the matter.”

“So what’s this about Odelia needing our help?” I asked.

“Yeah, some ditzy dame got whacked, and Odelia needs you to do that thing that you do so well.”

“Snoop around for possible clues, you mean?”

“That’s the one. Meanwhile I’m going to network.” She sneezed, and almost ran down two old ladies who were crossing the road arm in arm.

“Network?” I asked.

“I never told anyone this, but I always wanted to be an actress,” she said now, a wistful look coming over her face.

We all sat stunned. This was the first we’d ever heard of Gran’s ambition.

She straightened her shoulders.“So I’m going to ask this Emerald person to give me a part in her next movie. That should launch me in the biz, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, that should do it,” I agreed.

Though I had a feeling Emerald might not be open to the idea as much as Gran seemed to think. The thing is, Gran is a woman with a million different projects and ideas, and as soon as she’s failed at one, she immediately adopts another. I have to hand it to her, though, what she lacks in talent, she makes up for in sheer tenacity. Even though she doesn’t have any discernible skill other than to create trouble for those around her, she’s determined and will do whatever it takes to fulfill her ambitions, as harebrained as they might be.

“I think you’ll do great, Gran,” said Harriet, who was in great spirits now that her own dream of being a mom was within her grasp.

“Of course I’ll do great. I see myself in the same pantheon as some of the greats of old. Greta Garbo. Bette Davis. Katharine Hepburn. Classic beauties bursting with talent. Trust me, kids, nothing in this world is free. So when you have a dream, you gotta grab it and hold on tight and never let go!”

And with this piece of advice she sneezed again, and practically ran over Father Reilly, who shook his fist and hurled a stream of classic obscenities our way.

Chapter 19

All the guests had been gathered in the library, where they would be interviewed by the police officers Uncle Alec had brought in. It was just a routine thing, and yet everyone was on edge and nerves were stretched taut.

Alina, especially, looked as if she was about to have a nervous breakdown. Her face had gone deathly pale, and she was visibly shaking. Odelia, who’d opted to remain with the other guests, wondered if she should tell Alina this was merely a routine investigation, as Kimberlee’s death was very obviously a suicide and would soon be deemed just that.

She approached the woman.“Are you all right?” she asked now.

Alina shook her head.“I did this,” she whispered. “I did this to her. If I hadn’t said those horrible things—or tried to whack her over the head with a croquet mallet, she might still be alive.”

“You don’t know that,” said Odelia. “No one carries cyanide around unless it’s for a good reason. Kimberlee must have been planning this long before she came here.”