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“Brutus feels that maybe he’s a female trapped in a male’s body, and now he’s thinking about talking to someone.”

I stared from Brutus to Harriet and back.“I don’t get it,” I said.

“Me neither,” said Dooley. “Who’s inside Brutus’s body talking to him?”

“Nobody!” Brutus exploded. “It’s just that… have you never wondered if you were who you thought you were or maybe you were really someone else?”

I blinked.“Um, you lost me there,” I said.

“Me, too,” said Dooley.

“I mean, society has all these expectations of a male cat. Just look at me. I’m butch, I’m handsome, I’m strong—your stereotypical hard-nosed male, right?”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “Go on.”

“Well, what if deep down I’m a tender-hearted, sweet-natured… female?!”

Dooley and I shared a look, then burst into a hearty bout of laughter.

“I knew it!” cried Brutus, and jumped down from the couch. “I knew you two wouldn’t understand!” And off he went, slinking away with a panther-like grace—or was it a pantheress?

“Wait, he’s not kidding?” I said.

“Nuh-uh,” said Harriet. “And the worst part is, now he’s trying to convince me that maybe deep down I’m a male, and not a female as I always thought.”

“But youare a female,” I said.

“Duh,” she said.

“You’re probably the most female feline of all the female felines around,” said Dooley deferentially.

She permitted herself a slight smile.“Thanks, Dooley. That’s very sweet of you to say.”

I was still reeling.“So when did Brutus…”

“Figure he might be a female trapped in a male body? After he saw a documentary on the subject,” said Harriet. “It’s gotten him all confused. And the worst part? He’s lost all interest in me!”

“Thatis bad,” Dooley agreed, though he didn’t sound sorry. Dooley has always had a crush on Harriet, and I had the distinct impression he wouldn’t mind Brutus turning into a female so he could take his place by Harriet’s side.

And we would probably have explored the topic a lot further, if not suddenly Marge thrust her phone to my ear and I heard the most beautiful sound in the world: the voice of my human asking me how I was holding up.

Chapter 4

“Oh, I’m fine,” I said breezily.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take you, Max, but—”

“Emerald is allergic to cats. I know. You told me.”

“And you know how it is with these superstars—it’s their way or the highway.”

“So how is the house? Plenty of nooks and crannies where a cat can get lost, I reckon?”

“Oh, Max, this must be the biggest house I’ve ever seen.”

“Is it true Emerald pampers her dog as if it’s her baby?”

Odelia laughed.“Oh, yeah. I haven’t talked to Emerald yet, apart from meeting her when we arrived, but she was holding the famous Fanny in her arms the entire time. She really adores her.”

“So she’s a Maltipoo, right?”

“No, a teacup Pomsky.”

“Why is it that there are a million different kinds of dogs but only one kind of cat? Probably because dogs like to show off, huh?”

“I got to run, Max. I just heard the dinner gong.”

“Dinner gong? Emerald has an actual dinner gong?”

“Talk to you soon, Maxie. Give Dooley and the others a big kiss.”

And before I could tell her nighty-night, she was gone.

I heaved a deep sigh.

“Don’t worry, Maxie,” said Marge. “She’ll be back before you know it.”

Why did everybody keep saying Odelia would be back before I knew it? I knew she was gone now, and that was what counted. And before you think I’m one of those pampered pets the superstars of this world like so much, I’m not, okay. But I like to sleep on my own couch, prance around my own kitchen, and visit any of a number of favorite spots—and since Marge had locked up Odelia’s house for the time being, and transferred my food bowl, water bowl and litter box to hers, it wasn’t the same. Then again, it was only for a couple of days, and then things would all go back to normal again.

So I decided to stop whining and accept my fate. I mean, how often can you watchPearl Harbor in the company of your friends and family? If you’re like Gran, probably a million times. So I put my head down, and dozed off.

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“Who was that?” asked Chase as Odelia put her phone away.

“My mom,” said Odelia.

“She misses you, huh?”

“Yeah, well, you know how she is. She worries about me.”

Chase smiled and pulled her into a hug.“That’s so sweet. My mom probably doesn’t even remember my name.”

She hugged him close. Chase’s mom was living with her sister now, after her memory started failing her. Sometimes she remembered she had a son, other times she didn’t. So Odelia counted her blessings, and was glad everyone at home was fine, cats included.

“So,” said Chase when the dinner bell rang out a second time. “I guess that’s us.”

“That’s us and that’s dinner,” said Odelia. “At least I think it is.”

“Could be the fire alarm, but I don’t think so.”