1c8c0f371c0d914159db2df0bf94b5c6

“No I’m the lucky one,” he said.

“No, I’m the lucky one.”

“Oh, can you two lovebirds go and coo somewhere else?” said Gran. “It’s making me sick to the stomach.”

“Gran is in a great mood,” said Dooley.

“Gran is always in a great mood,” I said.

“So how about your litter box revolution, Gran?” asked Odelia. “Are you still going through with it?”

“I dropped it,” said Gran morosely. “Because of a certain nosy parker who decided to show up unannounced and uninvited.”

“I told you, you can’t go around telling people to buy litter boxes and make it sound as if Uncle Alec ordered them to.”

“Wait, what?” asked Alec. “She did what now?”

“Gran went door to door today with Father Reilly and Harriet and Brutus and Shanille,” said Odelia with a smile, as Gran rolled her eyes. “She tried to sell dog owners on the litter box revolution and told them you sanctioned a new rule whereby they’re not allowed to let their dogs do theirbusiness on the sidewalk and have to train them to use a litter box.”

“You told them I said that?” asked Alec, replacing his pork chop on his plate. It was a testament to his extreme emotion. Under normal circumstances Alec would never put down a pork chop once he’s targeted it for consumption.

“I wanted to boost your candidacy!” said Gran. “At thirty percent dog owners are a minority in this town, like I told you, and so sixty percent of the population would be happy they didn’t have to step in dog shit anymore—giving you a nice fat majority.”

“I think that’s seventy percent, Vesta,” said Chase.

“Who asked you, mathlete wannabe?!”

“But I told you I don’t want to run for mayor!” said Alec.

“You don’t know what’s good for you, Alec. You never did. You need your mother to decide for you—always have!”

“No, I don’t! I like being chief. I want to be chief. I want to keep on being chief!”

“Not for much longer, you won’t,” said Chase.

“Exactly!” said Gran. “If you want to keep on being chief, you need to get rid of this mayor! And the only way to do that is by running for mayor yourself. That way you can appoint yourself chief.”

“I can’t be mayor and chief, Ma.”

“Yes, you can. It’s called multi-tasking and people do it every day. Just look at Jeff Bezos. He’s CEOand hot stud muffin at the same time. And if Jeff can do it, you can, too!”

Alec was shaking his head, then pushed himself away from the table and got up.“I’m going home to watch the game. Are you coming, Chase?”

“You can watch it at my place,” said Odelia.

“Are you going out?” asked Chase.

“Yes, I am,” said Odelia, giving me and Dooley a wink. “I have some unfinished business involving chickens.”

Chapter 29

“Oh, honey, don’t be upset,” said Marge as she tried to talk her unresponsive husband off the proverbial ledge. “You know I only went down there because Odelia asked me to. I haven’t thought about Jock in many, many years.”

But Tex was staring at the TV, where some Netflix horror movie was playing, a genre he normally hated. His face had taken on a rebellious expression and he was sitting with his arms folded across his chest.

“You can’t still be jealous of Jock after all these years. Do you really think I would have married you if I loved Jock? You’re crazy if you think that.”

“Jock calls and immediately you go running,” said Tex. “That tells me everything I need to know.”

“I didn’t go running because Jock called. I went because Odelia asked me to. What did you want me to do? Tell her I couldn’t go because it would make you upset?”

“I’m not upset,” he grunted, looking extremely upset.

She laughed.“Oh, Mr. Grumpy McGrumpypants. I only love you, Tex, and have loved you for thirty years now. Yes, I was in love with Jock back in high school, or at least I thought I was, but that was just a schoolgirl crush. And it’s also true I was sad when he left me for Grace, but then I met you, and I soon realized Jock had done me a huge favor. If he hadn’t dumped me I wouldn’t have fallen for you, and we wouldn’t have made this wonderful life together, and had this amazing daughter.”

“You fell for me?” he asked in a small voice.

“Of course I did!”

“I wasn’t just some… rebound guy?”

“Of course not! By the time I met you I’d long forgotten about Jock. I was over him.”

“I didn’t know that,” he said. “I always assumed you only hooked up with me so you could show off to Jock—make him jealous.”

“Oh, Tex,” she said, and looped her arm through his. He let her, and gave her his best lost puppy look.

“Vesta’s right. I’m an idiot.”

“Yes, you are, but you’re my idiot,” she said, nestling against his chest.

“I’m sorry, Marge. I’ve behaved like a silly school kid.”

“Yes, you did, and you didn’t finish your pork chop.”

“I’m hungry,” he said now.

“I think my brother ate your pork chop.”

“Of course he did.”

She laughed.“What is this stuff you’re watching?”

“I don’t know but it’s terrible!”

Now they both laughed, and kissed.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I guess sometimes I still feel I’m not good enough for you. I wonder from time to time why you picked me, and how I ever got to be so lucky.”