1c8c0f371c0d914159db2df0bf94b5c6

“We need to talk to the Mayor,” I said now. “He needs to find a way to compensate the big dog people. Make sure their litter expenses don’t exceed a certain threshold.”

“Um…”

“Taxation!” I cried. “The whole community pays to subsidize litter boxes. That way nobody pays more than the next person.”

“It will never work, Max. No cat people will pay taxes to subsidize dog people, and no small dog people will pay to subsidize big dog people. And then there’s the pet haters—of course they won’t pay a dime.”

“Mh, maybe you’re right,” I said. I hadn’t really looked at it that way.

“It’s like those electric car charging stations. They’re subsidized, which isn’t exactly fair to the people not driving electric cars, is it?”

“I guess not.” This Discovery Channel was clearly boosting Dooley’s IQ. “So no more CCREC?”

“No more CCREC,” he said. “Though it was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

“I guess it was,” I said, “though I really hated lying to that poor dog, you know.”

“You mean Fifi?”

“Yeah, telling her that litter is some kind of miracle cure that will solve all of her problems? That was mean-spirited, Dooley.”

“That was marketing,” he said.

We’d finally reached our destination. On top of the gate, two iron chickens had been placed. Chase remarked to Alec, “I forgot. Isn’t this Farnsworth known for his chickens?”

“Chicken wing king,” Alec confirmed. “Yup, that’s him. Richest man in town, as far as I know. And also Marge’s ex-boyfriend.”

“Jock Farnsworth and Marge used to date?”

“Yeah, back in high school. Long time ago.”

“So Marge could have been chicken wing queen.”

“Yeah,” said Alec with a touch of wistfulness. Being the brother of the town’s chicken wing queen probably earns you a lifetime supply of chicken wings. Alec missed out.

“There’s something I forgot to tell you,” said Chase as the gate slowly swung open. “I went to see the Mayor.”

“Oh, right. So how did it go?”

“He offered me a job, Alec. Your job.”

Alec’s head swiveled so fast his neck cracked. “He did what?”

“He said you’re in line for early retirement, and he wants a breath of fresh air to waft through the precinct, so he offered me the job. Gave me time to think about it.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. And what about his niece? I thought he had her earmarked for the job?”

“He said he’s grooming her for his job.”

“Mayor?”

“Uh-huh.”

“So what did you say?”

“I was too dumbstruck to say anything. I walked out of the meeting feeling sandbagged.”

“Dirk always has that effect on me,” grunted the Chief.

“I’m not taking him up on his offer, Alec. No way.”

“Maybe you should,” said the Chief now, much to my surprise.

“Are you crazy? I’m not taking your job, buddy.”

“If you don’t take it, someone else will, Chase. And I’d rather it’s you than some politically appointed clown. No, I want you to take the job.”

“But you can’t retire. You’ve got a lot of years left in the tank.”

“Look, it’s obvious the Mayor wants me gone, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I can’t hang onto this job, Chase. If I fight him on this he’ll not only kick me out, but he’ll find a way to take away my pension in the process. He’s a mean bastard. And if I have to go, I want to leave the place in good hands. The best. And frankly I can’t think of anyone better suited to be my successor than you, son. So take it, and I’ll be able to retire with my head held high, and with a sense of pride that I trained my successor well.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Chase, shaking his head. “I can’t believe we’re even discussing this.”

“Oh, it’s happening, Chase, whether we like it or not.”

We’d arrived at a small cottage, where Odelia was waiting for us.

“I didn’t know the richest man in town lived in such a small house,” said Dooley.

“I don’t think this is his house,” I said.

We hopped out of the car and traipsed up to Odelia, who crouched down and gave us cuddles.“Where are Harriet and Brutus?” she asked.

“They’re going door to door with Gran,” I said, “to convince people to make their dogs follow the CCREC’er way.”

She stared at me.“I don’t think I follow.”

“I’ll tell you later,” I said. “It’s a long story.”

“Good idea,” she said. “I want to know all about these crackers. Now let’s get you inside.”

Chapter 15

“And that’s why we think she and this Fabio guy were kidnapped,” said Odelia, finishing her story.

Uncle Alec nodded and checked the phone Marge had handed him.“I think you’re right. A woman like Grace Farnsworth would never leave her phone when she decides to take a trip with loverboy. But just to make sure, I’ll have the airports checked, to see if they caught a flight out of here. You did the right thing by calling this in, Odelia.”

“Even though the husband didn’t want to get the police involved?” asked Marge.

“Especially because the husband didn’t want us to get involved,” said Alec.

“Very suspicious,” said Chase, as he stopped for a moment from taking pictures of the entire cottage.

“You think Jock had his wife and her lover killed, don’t you?” said Marge.