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“For me, too,” he intimated. “I was a little bored last night, Max. In fact I think I fell asleep at some point. I just hope I wasn’t snoring. That would have been rude.”

“It’s all fine, Dooley. I’m sure Master Sharif is used to cats falling asleep on him.”

We’d arrived in the heart of town, and lo and behold there was Grandma Muffin, holding up her phone and filming an unsuspecting bystander and asking him about the meaning of life and happiness.

“Odd,” I said. “I thought Gran had quit Soul Science.”

“She must have changed her mind,” Dooley said as we watched on.

The innocent bystander was squirming, clearly unhappy about being caught on camera and asked a question he’d probably never in his life considered answering.

“The meaning of life…” he grumbled. “Um… the meaning of life…” He was an older gentleman with a walrus mustache and deep-set eyes that now flitted to and fro, clearly looking for the emergency exit.

“I’ll put it another way. What makes you happy?” asked Gran.

The man brightened. Now this was a question he could answer with authority.“Garlic butter-basted steak, a bologna sandwich, a juicy quarter pounder with extra cheese—”

“No, I mean, what makes your soul happy,” said Gran, smiling at her silly mistake. It’s always important to use the exact verbiage when conducting these street interviews.

“My soul?” said the man, clearly surprised to discover that he had such a thing as a soul. “Well, um…”

“Don’t listen to that woman,” another voice piped up, and suddenly Scarlett Canyon entered the fray. She, too, was holding up her phone, and now told the man, “She’s delusional—don’t listen to her. Instead, answer me this: in what world do you want to live?”

“What world?” asked the man, his eyes darting from Gran to Scarlett and back. “What world?”

“Get lost, Scarlett,” said Gran. “This is my recruit. Go and find your own.”

“Clearly you’re doing it all wrong,” said Scarlett. “So let me show you how it’s done.”

“I don’t want you to show me how it’s done.”

“I’m Soul Science’s top recruiter for a reason, so let me teach you a few lessons on how to conduct the perfect survey.”

“I don’t need any lessons from you, Scarlett,” said Gran. She was still holding up her phone, only now filming Scarlett instead of her intended victim, who stood eyeing the scene with pretty astonishment.

“Didn’t you quit last night?” asked Scarlett, who was also holding up her phone, filming Gran. “I clearly heard you say the words ‘I quit’ and walk out, so what are you doing out here holding surveys? Are you trying to start a competing church? Cause if you are I’m telling Omar.”

“For your information, Omar personally phoned me last night, and begged me to come back, so I told him I would.”

Scarlett laughed a little laugh, throwing her head back as she did.“Of course he did! Really, Vesta, if you’re going to lie through your dentures, at least make it sound plausible.”

“Ask him. Ask Omar if he called me and told me Soul Science needs me and can’t do without me. And ask him if he proposed to me in the process. He’ll tell you.”

“Proposed!” said Scarlett, her smile vanishing. “Omar proposed to you?”

“He asked me out on a date, but you know as well as I do that a proposal is only days away.”

“Um… do you still need me?” asked the man whose soul apparently yearned to get away from these two squabbling septuagenarians.

“He asked you out on a date?”

“Yep. Just the two of us. And how could I say no? So you’re looking at the future Mrs. Omar, and if I were you I’d show some respect, if you don’t want me to tell my future husband to kick you out for gross insubordination to the First Lady of Soul Science.”

Scarlett closed her mouth with a click.“Mh,” she said.

“So I’ll be going now,” said the man, and started walking away.

“Not so fast!” Gran and Scarlett intoned simultaneously.

“But I have an urgent appointment!” said the man, and picked up some speed.

“Wait up!” Scarlett yelled.

“Yeah, the interview isn’t over!” Gran cried.

They both were in hot pursuit now, the man skipping along the pavement, the two women close on his heels, phones out and yelling up a storm.

We watched the trio move out of sight, and Dooley said,“Is Gran really getting married to Master Omar, Max?”

“It would appear so,” I said.

“But… does that mean Master Sharif is going to be our brother?”

I hadn’t thought that far, but Dooley had a point. If Gran married the Soul Science leader, Master Sharif would become part of the family.

Ugh.

Chapter 19

We decided to pay a visit to Kingman, Hampton Cove’s unofficial feline mayor. As usual, the voluminous piebald was holding forth in front of his human’s store on Main Street. He was basking in the sunshine, busily chatting up two young felines.

When he saw us coming, his face lit up.

“Max! Dooley!” he cried. “I wanna talk to you!”

The two felines were encouraged to move along, and Dooley and I took their spots.