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“And so are we!” said Dooley happily. “Though Odelia and Chase are not actually believers, and neither are we. We’re just going along for the ride, because we’re afraid to be left out, and Odelia has to go because her boss told her to, and Chase is going because she’s his baby and he doesn’t want her to go alone.”

Odelia stared at her mother, a sheepish expression on her face.

“Too much information, Dooley!” I hissed.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, taken aback.

“Yeah, Odelia being an undercover spy for the newspaper is supposed to be a secret.”

“Well, I don’t care about your motives, really,” said Marge finally. “I’m sure that if there’s something to be discovered there you’ll discover it, and so will we.”

“So did Alec put you up to this?” asked Tex. “Are the police now actively investigating Soul Science?”

“Oh, no,” said Chase. “I don’t think Soul Science is on Alec’s radar yet. It’s just that I don’t feel comfortable letting Odelia infiltrate the cult all by herself. Even undercover cops have backup and a handler who keeps tabs on them at all times.”

“But you will keep an open mind, won’t you, honey?” asked Marge. “You’re not going in there with any preconceived notions?”

“Oh, I’m definitely going to keep an open mind,” Odelia confirmed. “If there’s something interesting to be found, I’ll say so in my articles. But if I find that this Master Omar is a fraud and a con artist, I can’t promise I won’t expose him.”

“Fair enough,” said Marge, satisfied.

And so the die had been cast, so to speak, and everyone’s position made perfectly clear. So when Gran barged in, holding up her phone and asking, “Will you look at this—all of my new recruits all gathered together! Say cheese to your new master!”

So we all said cheese, though not wholeheartedly. Especially Tex seemed to suppress the urge to say,“The meaning of happiness? A nationwide ban on mothers-in-law!”

And as Gran spoke a few words into her own phone, possibly for the purpose of earning even more credits with her master, Harriet and Brutus joined us.

“So have you guys made up your minds yet?” Harriet asked.

“Yes, we’re going,” I said reluctantly.

“In fact we’re all going,” Dooley clarified.

“Define all,” said Harriet, casting us a curious glance.

“Odelia and Chase and Marge and Tex,” said Dooley. “We’re turning it into a family outing.”

“Oh, wow,” said Harriet, beaming. “That’s going to net me a lot of credits with Master Sharif. He might even admit me to his inner circle.”

“Now wait a minute, missy,” said Gran. “These are my recruits and my credits.”

“No way, Gran!” said Harriet. “I signed up Max and Dooley and Brutus. They’re my recruits. That’s three credits in the bank for me.”

“No, I signed them up,” said Gran. “I shot a video and they were so excited they couldn’t wait to sign on the dotted line and become converts. My recruits, my credits.”

“Well, for your information, I talked to them first,” said Harriet. “Long before you entered the picture with your silly videos and your silly questions.”

“Oh, you conniving little—”

“Now, now, children,” said Marge. “There will be no squabbling in this family. You’ll share those credits fair and square.”

“But I recruited them!” said Harriet.

“It doesn’t matter who recruited whom,” said Marge. “What matters is that we’re going on an adventure together as a family. A united family,” she added, giving both Gran and Harriet a warning look.

And even though neither Harriet nor Gran seemed convinced about the need to unite as a family, they still kept their tongues. But when I glanced over mere moments later, I could see that Gran‘accidentally’ stepped on Harriet’s tail, at which point Harriet equally ‘accidentally’ scratched Gran’s hand, causing the latter to yelp in pain.

“Looks like Gran and Harriet still have a lot to learn about the meaning of happiness,” said Dooley.

Chapter 10

Alec Lip stood watching the devastation with a look of consternation. It was safe to say that when the company that produced spike strips advertised their wares with the catchy slogan‘Stop ‘em dead in their tracks’ they hadn’t been lying.

“Well, Barney, I’d say your tires are ready for the scrapheap.”

“But who’s going to pay for new ones, that’s what I’d like to know,” said Barney.

“Doesn’t your insurance cover an eventuality like this?”

“As if! They’ll probably call it force majeure and raise my premium.”

“We better get you a tow truck. Doctor Jones is liable to accuse you of trespassing and have you arrested.”

“Me arrested! He’s the one that should be arrested!”

“My hands are tied, Barney. The man has the law on his side. This is his property, and you can’t just ignore him and keep driving across.”

“I never had any issues with the previous owners. And now since doctor high and mighty moved in I’m supposed to drive half a mile to reach my own plot? It’s not fair.”

“I know, buddy. I know.”