18f44de3c41a3c8943c05e9ff1c1336f

ôDrop your weapon and come out now!ö Chase shouted.

ôNo way!ö the man returned.

ôYouÆre completely surrounded, Alec! No escape!ö

ôI want a helicopter, a private plane fueled and ready at JFK and five million dollars in unmarked bills! YouÆve got one hour, cop, or I start shooting hostages!ö

This caused a ripple of concern to travel through the collected cop contingent.

ôHostages?ö I heard Chase ask. ôI thought he had just the one?ö

But I now saw that a small doggie had appeared in the window. It was Ida BaumgartnerÆs long-haired teacup Chihuahua Minnie Mouse, and she looked nervous and not a little bit scared.

ôHeÆs going to shoot the dog, Max!ö said Dooley. ôThe man is a maniac!ö

ôHeÆs certainly something else,ö I agreed.

ôWe have to do something. We have to save that dog!ö

So you see, cats have this reputation for disliking and even taunting dogs, but when push comes to shove, we are willing to put our lives on the line for the species!

Uncle Alec now also arrived, and he had brought a gift in the form of Gran.

ôWhatÆs going on?ö asked the Chief.

ôThis guy Alec March is threatening to start shooting hostages when he doesnÆt get what he wants,ö said Chase.

Uncle Alec grabbed a bullhorn from his car and raised it to his lips.ôAlec March, this is Chief Alec Lip. Release those hostages now and I promise we wonÆt hurt you!ö

ôBuzz off, Alec!ö shouted Alec, then put the muzzle of his gun to the little doggieÆs head!

It whimpered and shook and the scene broke my heart.

ôOh, enough of this,ö suddenly said Gran. ôNo more Miss Nice Gal!ö she yelled, and before anyone could stop her, she had grabbed that bullhorn and now strode to the fore. ôYou stop this nonsense right now, Alec March!ö she bellowed, her voice amplified and echoing between the houses. ôIf you dare to harm a hair on that poor creatureÆs head, IÆm going to personally come up there and whoop your ass, young man!ö

ôGo away, granny!ö the hoodlum returned.

ôDonÆt you granny me!ö Gran boomed. ôDrop your weapon and come out with your hands in the air. And donÆt make me come in there!ö

ôGo to hell!ö

ôYou had your chance. ItÆs whooping time!ö

ôGran, no!ö Odelia yelled.

But the old lady had dropped the bullhorn and now broke into a run, heading for the window. And as the man saw her coming, he raised his gun and aimed it straight at her head.ôDonÆt you dare!ö Gran yelled. ôIda, conk him on his fat head!ö

I could tell that Ida hadnÆt responded well to the situation. First to discover that her prince charming is actually an ogre, and then to have that ogre point a gun at her precious darling, her sweet treasure Minnie Mouse, it was clear she was seething with righteous anger. So the moment Mr. March turned the gun in GranÆs direction, Ida didnÆt waste time lallygagging but picked up the first object she could find, which was a large vase that had been languishing on the windowsill, and crashed it down on top of the manÆs head.

For a moment the career criminal stood there, swaying in the breeze like a young sapling experiencing its first storm, and then he fell to earth and knew no more.

ôWell done,ö said Gran, congratulating the other woman.

ôOh, dear,ö said Ida, pressing her precious darling to her sizable bosom. ôI really thought I was a goner this time, Vesta. If it hadnÆt been for you, I donÆt know what I would have done!ö

ôYou could have told him about your many incurable diseases,ö Gran suggested kindly as she inspected the unconscious man. ôScared the living daylights out of him.ö

ôAlways the joker, arenÆt you,ö said Ida tersely. ôSuch a wonderful sense of humor.ö

About a thousand cops converged on the scene now, and if Mr. March had still been conscious he would have been read his rights in no time. Now they had to wait for an ambulance to arrive and make sure he would live to enjoy a renewed sojourn in the pen.

ôGot him!ö said Chase jubilantly.

ôGood job,ö said Odelia, addressing her grandmother.

ôIf you pull another stunt like that,ö said Uncle Alec, ôyouÆre grounded.ö

ôYou canÆt ground me,ö said Gran. ôIÆm your mother!ö

ôWatch me,ö Uncle Alec growled. ôYou almost gave me a heart attack when you stormed forward like that!ö

ôI learned that from Mel,ö said Gran with a smile.

ôWhoÆs Mel?ö asked Chase.

ôBraveheart!ö

ôDidnÆt Mel die in that movie?ö asked Odelia.

ôPoppycock,ö said Gran. ôTrue heroes never die. Oh, and now for the reason I came down here in the first place. I quit.ö

ôQuit?ö asked Uncle Alec. ôWhat do you mean you quit?ö

ôA man just called me a very bad name, and I came here to tell you that IÆm too old to take that kind of abuse, so I quit.ö

ôWhat did you do?ö

ôWhy does everyone immediately assume itÆs my fault!ö But when Uncle Alec fixed her with a steady look, she finally admitted, ôOkay, so maybe I told him that he should put his head in a toilet and flush. But only because he was drunk and abusive!ö

ôOh, Ma,ö said Uncle Alec with a sigh.

ôHe told me I was off my rocker!ö