18f44de3c41a3c8943c05e9ff1c1336f

ôOh, but they are. You see, I made their wives happy, which is bound to make them happy. Well, as long as they donÆt find out, of course,ö he allowed. He frowned. ôTheyÆre not going to find out, are they, Chief? Cause that would probably ruin the ambiance.ö

ôIÆm afraid that ambiance was probably ruined when you and Carlotta argued about your cheating in front of the clubÆs entire membership roster, wouldnÆt you say?ö

Dennis thought about this for a moment.ôThat would be bad,ö he finally concluded.

Carlotta was still looking as seething with anger as she had before, only now her anger was directed at Uncle Alec instead of her husband.ôI canÆt believe you had me locked up like some common criminal!ö she cried, tapping the table with furious fingers. ôWhat did I do?!ö

ôFor one thing you threatened to kill your husband,ö said Uncle Alec, gazing back at the irate woman with absolute equanimity.

ôCan you blame me?! The man was cheating on me with my best friend!ö

ôMultiple of your best friends, from what I understood,ö said the police chief.

CarlottaÆs jaw dropped. ôWhat?ö

ôYour husband is a very generous man, Carlotta. And a very sociable man. He believes in spreading the joy, so he admitted to engaging in intimate relations with no less than a dozen female club members over the years.ö

CarlottaÆs mouth opened and closed a few times as her face turned slightly more red.

ôHe says he did it for the sake of the club,ö the Chief continued. ôAnd for you and the kids, of course. He says he believes in creating the perfect ambiance.ö

ôThe perfect ambiance!ö

Uncle Alec nodded, and I could tell from the twinkle in his eye he was enjoying himself.ôItÆs one way of looking at things, of course. And you have to admit he made a lot of people very happy over the years, by sharing his joy with them, as he put it.ö

ôOh, that man is so dead!ö she growled, balling her hands into fists.

ôPlease donÆt kill your husband, Carlotta,ö the Chief tut-tutted. ôWe do frown on homicide in this country, you know, even husbands who are serial adulterers.ö

ôCanÆt I mess him up a little, Chief? Just a little?ö

ôIÆm sorry, but no.ö

ôI could shoot him through a non-vital body part.ö

ôThis is not a negotiation, Carlotta.ö Then he added,ö What body part did you have in mind?ö

Carlotta quirked a meaningful eyebrow, and the Chief grinned.

ôOut of the question,ö he said. ôAbsolutely not allowed, IÆm afraid.ö

ôToo perfect!ö Lynnette practically screamed. ôOh, IÆll show him perfect!ö

ôPlease donÆt do anything rash, Lynnette,ö said Chase warningly.

ôHow long has this been going on?ö she demanded.

ôAccording to your husband it all started with some innocent flirtations across the backyard fence last summer, heated up during a joint mulching session in the fall, and collecting acorns in the winter, before blooming into a full-blown affair in the spring.ö

ôHow many times?ö she asked, her breathing having become a little stertorous.

ôWellàö

ôHow many!ö

ôYour husband said he hasnÆt exactly kept track, but at least three times a week over the course of several months, soàö

ôIÆm going to murder that man, and then IÆm going to kick him, and then IÆm going to murder him again, and thenùö

ôYes, I get the picture,ö said Chase, holding up his hand. ôAnd for the record, I feel at this point I should remind you that murder is a punishable offense.ö

ôHeÆs never going to see the kids again for as long as he lives, and of course IÆll take the house, and his money, and his car, and, and, and IÆll take his collection of bowling balls!ö

ôFranco has a collection of bowling balls?ö

ôOh, yes, he has. Keeps them in his man cave in the basement. Polishes them every night.ö A malevolent light had appeared in her eyes. ôYou know what IÆll do? IÆll throw them out of the second-floor window. Smash them all up into little pieces! And then IÆll take an ax to his pinball machine and chop that up into little pieces. And thenùö

Chase cleared his throat.ôThat bow and those arrows we found. TheyÆre yours?ö

Lynnette frowned.ôBow?ö

ôYes, we found a bow and a quiver of arrows in the garden shed. According to Franco they belong to you, from when you were a member of the Brookwell Club.ö

ôI didnÆt even know we still had those,ö she said.

ôLook, even though obviously Franco didnÆt meet Marcia on Valina FawnÆs site, I still have to ask you, Lynnette. Where were you two nights ago between midnight and two?ö

ôWhere do you think I was? In bed with that no-good cheating husband of mine. And if you really think IÆm saying this because I want to provide him with an alibi, think again. If there was any way I could throw him under the bus for ValinaÆs murder, IÆd do it in a heartbeat.ö

ôI wasnÆt thinking about Franco, Lynnette. I was thinking about you.ö

Lynnette blinked, then laughed a forced sort of laugh.ôMe! Why would I want to murder Valina!ö

ôBecause you thought her site facilitated your husbandÆs cheating?ö