18f44de3c41a3c8943c05e9ff1c1336f

ôArenÆt we always singing cats, Max?ö asked Dooley.

ôYes, but tonight weÆre singing cats that are singingCats,ö I said, earning myself a confused frown from my best friend. I didnÆt blame him. It was all very complicated.

For one thing, apparently in this musical it was actually humans pretending to be cats, by putting on costumes and wearing makeup and such. So now we were cats pretending to be humans pretending to be cats. I think no one could blame me for feeling an identity crisis coming on. It was the cultural appropriation of the cultural appropriation by the culturally appropriated, which probably canceled the whole thing out. Or something.

And then of course there was the murder case I was still struggling with. The identity of Valina FawnÆs murderer wasnÆt anywhere near being revealed to us, even after all the interviews Odelia and Chase had carried out. On the contrary. The more people we talked to, the muddier the whole thing seemed to become.

Then again, in this stage of the proceedings, that was often the case.

And weÆd just taken our positions, when suddenly a loud voice started tweeting in our rear.

ôHarriet, oh, sweet Harriet,ö the voice sounded. ôYou are mine and I am yours forever!ö

We all turned to see, and found ourselves staring at none other than Jack the sparrow, perched on an overhanging branch, and singing his heart out and serenading Harriet!

ôOh, not you again!ö Harriet cried, looking extremely embarrassed.

ôBut I love you!ö said the tiny brown sparrow. ôOur love is written in the stars!ö

Dooley glanced up at this, inspecting the stars for a sign of this unusual love.

ôI didnÆt know you had a new boyfriend, Harriet?ö said Shanille, who seemed to think the whole thing hilarious.

ôHe is not my boyfriend,ö Harriet said through gritted teeth.

ôI am your bird-friend!ö Jack cried. ôYour one true love!ö

ôOh, go away,ö said Harriet. ôGo tweet somewhere else.ö

ôI wonÆt be apart from you, Harriet,ö Jack replied, pressing a tiny foot to his tiny chest. ôFrom now on weÆll never be apart again. Our love will stand the test of timeùforever.ö

ôOh, God,ö Harriet muttered, closing her eyes.

ôI didnÆt know you were into birds?ö said Shanille, grinning wickedly.

ôIÆm not,ö Harriet snapped. ôAnd now could we please take it from the top!ö

ôHe looks yummy,ö said Kingman, whoÆs one of our larger members. He was licking his lips at the sight of Jack tweeting up a storm now, doing his utmost to let his love be known to all the world. ôNot much flesh to his bones, maybe, but a nice dessert nonetheless.ö

ôPlease donÆt eat him, Kingman,ö I said. ôCanÆt you see the bird is in love?ö

ôSo? It might add to his aroma.ö

Harriet, absolutely mortified now, as the entire cat congregation of Hampton Cove was all atwitter and loudly chuckling and cracking off-color jokes at her expense, now hissed,ôJack! Go away! Before one of these cats gets it into their nut to come up there and eat you!ö

ôSee!ö Jack twittered. ôYou do love me. Otherwise you wouldnÆt try to save me!ö

ôNobody try to eat HarrietÆs new boyfriend!ö Shanille called out, a smirk on her face.

ôHow many times?! HeÆs not my boyfriend!ö Harriet snapped.

Some cats were making kissy noises now, and it was obvious the thing was quickly getting out of paw. Jack, oblivious to the turmoil he was causing in the heart of cat choir, simply kept on tweeting loudly, and declaring his undying love for our Persian friend.

Finally Kingman couldnÆt control himself any longer, and started to climb the tree Jack was perched in. He got as far as the first branch, then got stuck. ôHeeeeelp! Someone save me!ö he bleated.

ôJust jump, Kingman,ö I said. ôYouÆre not that high up.ö

ôIÆm afraid to, Max! Please do something!ö

To add insult to injury, Jack had now tiptoed down the branch until he was almost within reach of Kingman, who was holding onto the branch for dear life, and eyed the cat with beady eyes.ôAre you a friend of Harriet, sir?ö the tiny sparrow asked, cocking his head just so.

Kingman nodded staunchly.ôI am. One of her best friends.ö

ôThatÆs all right, then. Any friend of my one true love is a friend of mine,ö said Jack.

Kingman glanced down, then swallowed with difficulty.ôGood to know.ö

ôAnd if you want, I can show you how to get down from this tree.ö

ôOh, would you? ThatÆs so very kind of you, Mr. Bird.ö

ôThe name is Jack,ö said Jack. ôJack the sparrow.ö

ôOdd,ö said Kingman, frowning. ôThat name rings a bell for some reason. So how do I get down from here, Jack?ö

ôYou simply spread your wings and fly!ö Jack cried, and to show us how it was done, he did just that. He spread his wings, fluttered up to Kingman, who started violently, uttered a sort of high cry of shockà and dropped down from the tree.

Luckily he landed on all fours, and after checking himself for any sign of injuries, gave Jack a very frosty look.ôThanks for nothing, buddy!ö he yelled, shaking an irate fist.

ôYouÆre welcome, friend of Harriet,ö said Jack, fully oblivious of the catÆs ire. ôAnd remember: love is always the way!ö