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Tex had fired up the grill, and delicious smells were wafting from the contraption and making our mouths water. ItÆs too much to say that the man is a skilled grill master, but lately he has been proficient in not destroying what is supposed to be a feast for the taste buds and an excuse for the whole family to get together and enjoy each otherÆs company.

ôSo are you still the dispatcherdu jour, Vesta?ö asked Charlene.

ôNo, I quit,ö said Gran as she ladled potato salad onto the MayorÆs plate. ôCouldnÆt handle the abuse anymore. You wouldnÆt believe how ungrateful some people are.ö

ôI can imagine,ö said Charlene with a glance to Chief Alec.

ôHow about you, Scarlett?ö asked Marge. ôAre you still in the saddle?ö

ôNo,ö said Scarlett. ôDolores finally returned, and so my services are no longer required.ö She sounded a little peeved about this, but then thatÆs the fate of a temp: once the titular dispatcher returns to the position, the replacement is thanked for services rendered. ôI thoroughly enjoyed it, though,ö said Scarlett. ôAn invaluable experience.ö

ôA thankless experience, you mean,ö said Gran.

ôNow, what did we say about being nice, Vesta?ö said Scarlett.

Immediately Gran spirited a sort of weird grin onto her face.

ôPlease donÆt do that, Ma,ö said Uncle Alec. ôYouÆre going to scare the kids.ö

ôWhat kids? We donÆt have no kids here.ö

ôSoon,ö said Odelia with a warm smile. ôVery soon.ö

ôHave you started Lamaze yet?ö asked Scarlett. ôYou really have to get in early. I hear these classes can be very popular and book out months in advance.ö

ôOh, and donÆt forget about booking your kid into a good primary school,ö said Charlene. ôThey should be starting to take admissions soon.ö

ôAnd high school,ö Gran pointed out. ôYou canÆt apply too soon.ö

ôAnd what about university?ö Chase asked with a slow grin.

ôItÆs no laughing matter, mister,ö said Charlene. ôAll the best places fill up fast, and if you donÆt get in there first, your little one will miss an important opportunity.ö

But Odelia didnÆt look overly concerned about the possibility of missing out on signing her future baby up for college. She took all these recommendations in stride, and so did Chase. And in doing so, they cemented my conviction that they would probably make great parents to the little one.

ôWhoÆs Lamaze?ö asked Dooley.

ôItÆs a series of breathing exercises to give pain relief to the expectant mother,ö I said.

ôPain relief! What do you mean!ö

ôHaving a baby is not a walk in the park, Dooley,ö said Harriet. ôIt does involve a certain degree of stress for the human body.ö

ôNothing Odelia canÆt handle,ö said Brutus with the absolute conviction of a cat whoÆs never had babies and never will.

ôDo you think Odelia mightà die!ö Dooley demanded.

ôIt does happen that women die in labor,ö Harriet admitted.

ôOh, no!ö Dooley cried, jumping up from his seat on the porch and making it swing so powerfully that we all fell off. ôOdelia!ö he bellowed. ôStop this now! ItÆs too dangerous!ö

The humans all looked up at the commotion DooleyÆs screams had caused.

ôWhatÆs eating sweet little Dooley?ö asked Scarlett curiously.

ôHeÆs concerned about my health,ö said Odelia as Dooley jumped up onto her lap. She gave him a gentle cuddle. ôItÆs all right, Dooley,ö she said. ôIÆll be fine.ö

ôBut Harriet just said that people who have babies all die!ö

Odelia directed a censorious look in HarrietÆs direction, who shrugged it off with customary disdain. ôIÆll be perfectly safe,ö she assured our friend. ôIsnÆt that true, Dad?ö

Tex looked up from his grill. HeÆd been glued to the contraption, afraid lest he allow the sausages to burn, as he often did. The man was absentminded to a degree, and therefore probably not the best person to be allowed near food prep. ôMh?ö he said.

ôCan you explain to Dooley that nowadays having a baby poses very little risk to mother and child?ö

ôOh, absolutely,ö said Tex. ôYou see, Dooley, our hospitals are so well-equipped to handle childbirth that we have managed to reduce the risk considerably. In fact in this country youÆre probably more at risk at dying from a plant dropping on top of your head as you walk down the street than in childbirth.ö And to illustrate his statement, he started rattling off a series of statistics, gesticulating wildly with his tongs to prove his point.

ôTex, the sausages!ö suddenly Marge cried.

Black smoke was wafting up from the grill, and Tex uttered a strangled cry.

America as a civilized nation might have succeeded in considerably lowering maternal mortality with the assistance of good doctors like Tex, but this apparently didnÆt extend to the death of innocent sausages on the grill.

Lucky for us, Marge produced a fresh set of pristine sausages from a secret hiding place, and Chase took over from a disappointed Tex.

ôMy plan B,ö Marge said with a wink, long association with her husband having made her an expert on all things Tex Poole.

And so before long we were all tucking in, even Tex, who had to admit that his son-in-law made an excellent cook.

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