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Dooley and I looked up. We’d eaten our fill in exquisitely tasty turkey, and our new owner had made us a cozy little spot on the couch by placing down an actual down blanket for us to lie on, and had turned the TV to a channel that showed plenty of cat food commercials. So when she called us, we knew we were in for more treats.

“Let’s go,”’ said Charlene now. She looked and sounded a little subdued, I thought, but then that was to be expected, since her future husband had been rudely taken from her.

“She’s holding something in her hand, Max,” said Dooley. “Are those… dog leashes?”

“I think so,” I said, wincing a little.

“Let’s take you guys for a walk,” said Charlene. Bless her heart, she was trying hard to turn herself into a proper cat lady, but dog leashes? And taking us for a walk? Clearly she had no idea what she was doing.

“Let’s just humor her,” I said with a shrug.

“But I don’t like a leash, Max. It makes me feel so… like a dog.”

“I know, Dooley, but clearly Charlene isn’t herself today, and I think we should indulge her.”

So we both jumped down from the couch and walked up to our new human.

“Let’s try these on for size,” said the Mayor. “I think they should fit you just fine.”

And they did. They fit exactly right, but that didn’t mean I liked the sensation of a leash being attached to my collar.

At least she hadn’t removed our collars, though thus far there wasn’t all that much for Gran and Scarlett to learn from keeping tabs on Charlene.

“You know the drill,” said Charlene. “We’ll go for a walk around the block, and if you feel the need to do your business, please do it against a tree.” She quickly inspected the pockets of her cardigan. “Poo baggies—check. Tissue paper—check. I think I’m ready to take my new cats for a walk for the very first time. Are you guys ready?”

“Yes, Charlene,” I said dutifully.

“Yes, Charlene,” Dooley chimed in.

Charlene smiled.“So weird,” she muttered, and then walked out of the house, but not before taking a quick glance through the window to see if there weren’t any more of those home invasion people lurking about. “I probably should hire myself some protection,” she said now, talking to herself more than to us. “I’ll call a security company first thing in the morning. I don’t even feel safe in my own home, that’s the worst part. And I can’t stop thinking about poor Alec. He must be going through hell right now.”

“I’m sure Uncle Alec will be fine, Charlene,” I assured her as we walked down the gravel path that split her front yard and through the little gate and out onto the sidewalk. “He’s a police chief, after all, so he’s probably used to dealing with the scum of the earth.”

“Maybe he’s managed to escape already,” said Dooley, “and he’s on his way home as we speak.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Dooley is right,” I said. “Uncle Alec will probably be home soon, and then he’ll put all of those nasty home invasion people in prison where they belong.”

But of course Charlene couldn’t understand a word we said, poor thing, so our comforting speech fell on deaf ears.

We walked around the block, and I have to admit it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Of course cats aren’t used to being walked like a dog, but that bit of fresh air was doing me the world of good after having been cooped up inside the house all evening, and frankly I did feel the need to do a little doo-doo and a little wee-wee, and so did Dooley.

And so we gave Charlene quite a bit of work cleaning up after us. I would have done it myself, but it’s tough digging a hole in the sidewalk, just as it was tough for me to have to deposit it there. Then again, I didn’t have a choice in the matter, and neither did Dooley.

And we’d walked probably half a block when suddenly we saw a parade of some kind heading our way. There were a lot of cars and trailers, fancifully painted in bright colors, and I could even see an elephant walking along, and a cage containing an actual lion!

“Hey, look. It’s one of our relatives,” I told Dooley.

More people had come out of their houses, leaving their televisions to watch the spectacle that was being announced by a sort of carnival barker riding on top of the elephant.

“Hey, cousin!” I said, waving at the lion. But he either couldn’t hear me, or wasn’t interested in making my acquaintance, for he totally ignored me.

Clowns were also there, and jugglers, and what looked like trapeze artists, judging from their Spandex outfits, though they’d left their nice and trusty trapezes at home.

“Alec and I went there yesterday,” said Charlene now. “It was wonderful.” She gave a wistful sigh, clearly thinking about those halcyon days of yore. “The fair will be there for another two weeks or so and then they’ll move on to the next town.”

“Charlene talks to herself a lot, doesn’t she?” said Dooley.

“I think it soothes her,” I said. “It makes her feel less anxious about what happened to Uncle Alec.”