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That, they definitely were.

“I’m sorry,” said Dante. “But the beard thing could actually happen.”

“I know, right!” said Tessa. “It could happen to me, too. You’d have a bearded lady for a wife.”

“I like to think I’d love you even if you did grow a beard,” he said, taking her into his arms.

She put up a token resistance, then said, grinning,“I think I’d rather fancy you with a beard.”

“One of them long and tangled ones?”

“With the crumbs tacked to your face.”

“Oh, puh-lease,” said Fluffy, but to Dante and Tessa it must have sounded like a bark, for they both looked up and laughed.

“See?” said Tessa. “Even Fluffy thinks you should grow a beard.”

“Oh, no, I don’t,” said Fluffy. “I hate bearded blokes. So tickly.”

“Maybe I will,” said Dante.

“Please don’t!” said Fluffy.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” asked Tessa.

“I meant it as a threat, actually.”

“To me it sounded like a promise.”

Kissing ensued, as it invariably does in these types of situations, and Dooley and I turned away, as did Fluffy. Us pets aren’t into mushiness.

“Dante doesn’t look like a man trying to murder his wife,” said Dooley, and for once I had to admit he’d hit the nail on the head. Unless Dante was a great actor, he genuinely appeared to love his wife.

“I think we can remove Dante from our list of suspects,” I said.

From the next room, crying could be heard, and both parents hurried over.

We could have used this as our chance to escape, if only the door hadn’t been closed shut. And from where we sat, I didn’t see any other means of escape, either.

“Psst,” said Fluffy suddenly.

“We’re stuck here!” I told her.

“I know! I have an idea!”

She then started barking loudly, jumped down from the couch and moved to the door. The barking intensified, and was now accompanied by a frenzied scratching of the door.

“All right, all right,” said Dante, as he came running. “Gotta go, sweetie?”

“Yes, please,” said Fluffy.

Dante grabbed a leash from the credenza, hooked it into Fluffy’s collar, and opened the door.

Fluffy turned to us and winked, indicating this was our chance!

So we took it. Moving like the wind—or at least two cats intent on escaping—we were through that door and out into the living area like a flash!

“Thanks, Fluffy!” I yelled over my shoulder.

“Yes, thank you so much, Fluffy!” Dooley chimed in.

“You’re welcome!” the dog yelled back.

“Was that… a cat?” I could hear Dante ask.

To which Fluffy replied,“I didn’t see nothing.”

And we were going well and moving in the direction of Odelia’s room when suddenly I collided heavily with an immovable object. The immovable object turned out to be a large lady, who suddenly bent down and picked me up by the front legs, so that the rest of my not inconsiderable corpus was left dangling. Not a pleasant position to be in, let me assure you!

“And what do we have here?” she asked sternly. I was face to face with the woman now, and I was reminded of Dante’s joke about growing a long and tangled beard. This woman did have a beard, and a mustache, too. Neither of them was particularly long or tangled but they were still there. “Outwith you lot,” she grumbled, and hoisted me in the direction of the door.

“Hey, no!” I said. “I’m an honored guest here.”

“Max?” said Dooley. “Where is that woman taking you?”

Of course she didn’t understand me. She was one of those people who seem to think that cats belong out on the street and have no business being inside the house.

So she opened the door and threw me out. Actually threw me out! Then she returned to grab Dooley by the scruff of the neck and repeated the procedure. Quick as a flash, I tried to return indoors, but she blocked my passage, snapping,“Cats don’t belong in the house. Now bugger off.”

And then she slammed the door in our faces!

Chapter 12

There was a tap at the door and Odelia went to open it. She was surprised to find none other than Tessa standing before her.“Can I come in?” she asked.

The newly-minted royal looked anxious, Odelia thought, and nervous.

“Of course,” said Odelia. “This is your house.”

Tessa nodded and quickly closed the door behind her.“So?” she asked. “Any news?”

Chase, who’d been channel-surfing and had finally decided to watch sports on ITV, walked over. “Hey, cousin,” he said.

Tessa grimaced. She clearly was not in the mood for levity.“I’m sorry, but I’m so nervous I can’t think straight. My heart is beating a mile a minute, like, all the time. And the worst part? That I have to lie to Dante about all this.”

“Your mother seems to feel very strongly about him,” said Odelia.

“She does. I’ve told her already that Dante can’t be behind this—he just can’t—but she doesn’t believe me. She feels that it’s better not to tell him anything. And it’s killing me!”

“I can only imagine,” said Odelia. If she suspected Chase of wanting to kill her she’d probably feel exactly the way Tessa did right now.

“So who are your suspects?”

“Well, we have the list your mother gave us,” said Odelia, handing Tessa the list. “Your cousin Nesbit drew it up.”