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“I didn’t tell her anything. I merely registered mild surprise—out of politeness, mind you, and in deference to the fact that she is the mother of the woman I love—and then offered to carry her bags next door myself. She huffily refused and shuffled off.”

Marge shook her head.“Oh, dear.” She picked up her phone and put it to her ear. “Odelia, honey? Is your grandmother over there?”

“Yeah, she is, and guess what?”

She sighed deeply.“She’s taking over your room?”

“How did you know?”

“Because I’ve known your grandmother a lot longer than you have,” she said, directing a critical glance at her husband of twenty-five years. Tex had the decency to look embarrassed.

“So what am I supposed to do now? She’s already asked Chase to get rid of the box spring cause it’s too hard, and she’s demanding we buy back the old wallpaper that she likes so much and chuck out the one we bought because she hates that newfangled crap figuring it’s bad for her aura and won’t allow her to get her much-needed beauty sleep!”

“Don’t worry, honey. She doesn’t actually mean to stay there indefinitely. Only for a couple of nights, until your father decides to apologize.”

“I’ll never apologize,” said Tex, stubbornly shaking his head. “Not in a million years!”

“If you like, you can move into your grandmother’s room,” Marge offered.

“A house swap, Mom? Really?”

“I’m sorry, honey.”

“And all this over a stupid smartphone?”

“Your grandmother feels very strongly about her little pleasures.”

“Oh, I’ll say she does. Maybe we should all pitch in and buy her the damn thing. At least then I’ll get my house back.”

“Maybe weshould all pitch in and buy her the phone.” She cocked a questioning eyebrow at her husband.

“Never!” Tex said. “She has a perfectly good smartphone and she’ll use it until it falls apart. And tell Odelia to tell Vesta I said that!”

“You know what?” said Marge. “Maybe you and Chase can sleep in our bed.”

Tex stared at her.“And where are we going to sleep?”

“I don’t know where you’re going to sleep, but I’m going to sleep in my mother’s bed.”

He goggled at her for a moment as he put two and two together, then exploded,“No way!”

She shrugged.“Either you apologize and get your daughter her house back, or you sleep with Mom from now on. Your choice.”

A mutinous look came over him, as he burrowed even lower into the couch.

“It’s a deal, honey,” she said into the phone. “Your father will sleep with Gran in your bed, you and Chase can take our bed, and I’ll sleep in your grandmother’s bed. And we’ll see how things stand in the morning.”

Odelia laughed, and said,“They should hire you at the UN, mom, as a peace negotiator. Those dictators wouldn’t know what hit them if you got involved.”

“I knew I should have gone into politics,” she said with a smile, and disconnected. “Better take your earplugs,” she told her husband. “You know how Mom snores.”

He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, and she smiled a fine smile. She had a feeling this family feud would be over a lot quicker than the last one.

Chapter 7

Gran was feeling on top of the world. She’d put on her hairnet and her flannel nightgown and was getting ready to retire for the night. Her teeth were in a glass on the nightstand and she was reading a novel from her favorite writer Danielle Steel. Odelia’s bed was a lot bigger than her own, and the room was an improvement as well. And then suddenly the door swung open and her nemesis appeared.

Tex didn’t look happy, and he didn’t look very fashionable either, dressed in his pajamas with the little Garfields drawn on them.

“What the hell are you doing here?” asked Gran, not bothering to hide her animosity.

“Marge kicked me out of the house,” he said a little gruffly as he sat down on the bed.

Gran watched on with a rising sense of panic.

“And what do you think you’re doing, young man?”

“I’m sleeping here apparently,” Tex grumbled. “Marge’s orders.”

“But… she can’t do this!” Gran protested. “This isn’t right.”

“Tell me about it. She feels that since you took Odelia and Chase’s room, they should sleep in our bed, while Marge is sleeping in your bed tonight and I’m sleeping here, since this is the only other double bed we have.”

“There is still such a thing as the couch, Doctor Poole,” said Gran, sternly regarding her son-in-law from across her half-moon reading glasses.

“You’re not seriously telling me to sleep on the couch, are you?” said Tex, and there was a pleading note in his voice that Gran had rarely heard there before. “With my back, I won’t make it to the morning, and even if I do I won’t be able to work tomorrow.”

She softened. Tex did have a bad back, and sleeping on the couch would only exacerbate an already painful condition.

“I don’t understand why you don’t have that back of yours operated on,” she said.

Tex swung his legs beneath the covers and lay down.“I’ve told you before, Vesta. The success rate of procedures performed on people with my exact condition is not good.”